Monday, July 7, 2008

Old grown-up enemy

You are back, inside and settled. And just like in the last time, I sense your unequivocal presence, making home in the core of my guts, misting my ideas with your usual salutations.

Uninvited just like always, you take command, and choose to make the important decisions of the unexpected moments. I have no choice but to fear you, and to have a chat of pledge with my visions.

You have found the keys again, and settled; I tried to hide, to forget, to ignore, but I am human too, and I am vulnerable to you, just like anybody else who has tasted life and seen it all. I have learned to nourish you right inside my soul.

In a sharp feeling sense, you kick in, I feel sick, dizzy and temperamental. I have no patience not even for my casual thoughts, those that I get to use once in a while to feel special, and here you are.

Time rolls back, as I know a new change is in order, and you wait here, patiently, ready to charge, just like before.

You are “Anxiety” and I detest you.

2 comments:

Tijana said...

I like your "riddle" format, with the decoding only at the end. Makes it more poignant. A nicely sustained personification of a feeling from beginning to end!

Question: why is this enemy "old grown-up"?

So is it going back to Hfx that you feel anxious about? Or other, related things?

Centigrado said...

Pretty much the whole changing thingy and the fact that I would like to secure a job before I head back... yeap.. and thanks, I will check your observations.

Why old grown up, because the level of anxiety that I feel now are more mature and complex, they seem to have grown with my emotional maturity, perhaps?