I was unaware, and I opened my eyes, the door, and my mind
Suddenly the glass door, that one that closes by the force of an overstretched spring
slowly condensed with the cool wet breeze of an early morning.
I witness how the translucent becomes opaque; slowly, sublime,
I didn’t move, holding a bag in my hands, I felt light, ready.
The air was cold, with anticipation and hope.
I touched the fragile cover of watery consistency,
And my finger was the brush; the door the canvas.
And in sense and spirit, I marked a path.
Slowly, unstoppable, it created, shaped and ran.
The shapes, the art, was all there, being born,
And I witnessed what I knew wouldn’t last
My eyes filled with possibilities, my hands were wet
The lines changed, the circles joined, and it was mine
My work of art, of inspiration… my piece of mind
Just like I imagined as a child, tears were from heaven
The condensation gave up, and erased the tales
Those that I made up in my head and that my finger brought to life
I step back, half of what it was, was already gone
I looked, and smiled, thankful and aware
Of the gift that I allowed myself to get.
The gift of sudden,
The beauty of fragile
The privilege of a stolen smile.
The tears of condensation.
The ones that were from heaven,
Now running in my eyes.
SDIH (05/29/2008)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
When was the last time?
When was the last time?
That you threw yourself on the grass, and saw time pass by.
That you Took a moment to smell the scent from a tree
That you Stopped to listen to the murmurs of an early morning,
And Gave a deep breath, and filled your lungs with air
How much does it cost?
To buy the last rays of the sun setting on the horizon
The shades of blue, orange and purple in the sky
To touch the soft petals of a flower
The smell of warm soup in a cool evening
Why did we stop?
Spinning around in circles, looking up high in the sky
Running down a hill with the anticipation of simply falling.
Having dreams of incredulous yet fantastic possibilities,
Believing we could, even against all odds.
The last time we took the moment to understand
That we are no longer children, that we have changed
That our natural instincts, lay inside, mostly dead
That’s how our innocence deserves a requiem.
The last time we checked, we had grown up.
Why is life so real, so solid, so wrong.
Waste is now a verb that we avoid,
As we try to earn a solid, cold, shared goal.
When was the last time?
You told yourself a story to go to bed,
You heard the sound of the soul in your head.
How much does it cost?
To gain all those dreams again
To talk to God and feel my prays
Why did we stop?
To just let go with joy,
To be ourselves.
SDIH (5/27/2008)
That you threw yourself on the grass, and saw time pass by.
That you Took a moment to smell the scent from a tree
That you Stopped to listen to the murmurs of an early morning,
And Gave a deep breath, and filled your lungs with air
How much does it cost?
To buy the last rays of the sun setting on the horizon
The shades of blue, orange and purple in the sky
To touch the soft petals of a flower
The smell of warm soup in a cool evening
Why did we stop?
Spinning around in circles, looking up high in the sky
Running down a hill with the anticipation of simply falling.
Having dreams of incredulous yet fantastic possibilities,
Believing we could, even against all odds.
The last time we took the moment to understand
That we are no longer children, that we have changed
That our natural instincts, lay inside, mostly dead
That’s how our innocence deserves a requiem.
The last time we checked, we had grown up.
Why is life so real, so solid, so wrong.
Waste is now a verb that we avoid,
As we try to earn a solid, cold, shared goal.
When was the last time?
You told yourself a story to go to bed,
You heard the sound of the soul in your head.
How much does it cost?
To gain all those dreams again
To talk to God and feel my prays
Why did we stop?
To just let go with joy,
To be ourselves.
SDIH (5/27/2008)
When “usual” changes
Just like always, the faded sounds of church bells and roosters gave away an early morning unfolding in the horizon. As in the beginning of any tale, the ideas in my head seemed pointless and confused.
I was 15, and like any teenager, I couldn’t care less about anyone I knew, except probably for some of my friends. It was a school day, and that meant an early morning to prepare for the long day ahead. I stopped, looked at my calendar, it was October 9th, a rather hot morning for that day I thought, I marked a smiley face on the box enclosing the date, and marched out of my bedroom thinking, “a new week, let’s do it”.
The signs of the regularity of a Monday morning were insignificant, almost unnoticeable, but for some reason, I stopped in the middle of the road on my way to school, I smelled the air and I noticed something about it that was not familiar: There was no wind; I could only feel the warmth feeling of the cement of the sidewalk reflecting the heat of the early rays of the sun on my face. There were no sounds, I couldn’t hear the early birds chirping nor see the crows on the fields looking for their breakfast; in a flash, I knew, but just as fast, I seemed to have forgotten and kept on walking, looked at my watch, it was 6:40 in the morning, I had to hurry.
My high-school years were good, I had goals, and several projects going on trying to rebuild my already damaged self esteem from my junior-high years, and I was doing a good job. Nothing had warned me about the build up of anticipation that I could sense, but that I just couldn’t read, I then focused on existing, on doing what I was supposed to be doing.
The long laboratory class room was filled with students, practice books, and hanging objects that were trying to clarify the physics behind periodic movements and the effect of deceleration, the scope of our job: The oscillatory movement. How ironic.
4 long cement desks containing 4 sets of lab sinks covered in cool white ceramic tiles worked as our operation central, two groups of 6 to 7 students would team up to complete the tasks of the class, first planning the experiments, then setting up the area and finally writing the reports on the thin paper booklets that our teacher would collect at the end of the class.
I looked at my watch again, 9:30 in the morning, I was already writing my report and I was happy to be 20 minutes early so then I could wonder around the school before my next class. Some teams were already done with their experiments and were setting their metal benches on top of their tables waiting to line up to be checked by the laboratory assistant to verify that they were clear to go.
One second later, I could sense it, the same feeling I had earlier that morning; the chatting sound of students became softer and softer until it was a distant murmur in the back of my head, I looked out, and noticed the trees were still, the usual morning breeze that came down from the mountains at this time of the day was absent, and then I looked at the grass fields behind the classroom, the crows had fled.
I chose to ignore my intuition, and continued writing my report; the voices of students combined with the clanking sound of benches against ceramic tiles became louder in my head, making it difficult to concentrate trying to describe why the “periodic movement” made my life easier. Then it came...
... Just like an angry tiger who finds a way out of his cage in the middle of a multitude, slowly, but firmly, the table began moving, and in my concentration, I was unable to react.
The sounds changed from friendly chats to silence, everyone’s brains connected in what our suspicions were soon confirmed it was an earthquake, from silence to doubt, to people trying to verify that they were really awake, and in a flash, the levels of adrenaline spiked and transformed into a collective hysteria, spreading from student to student; and just like that, I could hear it, coming from inside the earth, sounds of rolling stone about to emerge, I knew it was about to get worse.
I stood up, I looked, I could only see the faces of confusion combined with fear, then the shake changed, from an almost nursing oscillatory wave to a more chaotic Rayleigh wave that made everything shake and fall.
My heart began bumping, and my head started feeling warm, I sensed fear, and I could only think of getting out of the classroom, my senses sharpened to a point where the only thing I was able to focus was the exit; which began cramming with students rushing out of the building.
And in an instant, reacting to an instinct, I looked back to the part of the classroom nobody else was paying attention to, and there he was, my friend, motionless, unable to rush out like everybody else sitting on his wheel chair waving back at me. Instantly I came back, I re-gained control and rushed back inside the womb of chaos.
With an unfamiliar agility I jumped over his chair to the back of it, gained a firm grip to the handles and warned him it wasn’t going to get pretty; but then I saw the door, it was full of people trying to get out, and I apologized internally (as I wasn’t planning on announcing my intentions) for the running over that was about to occur as I had the firm purpose of using Edgar as a bull guard on my classmates.
…I didn’t do it, I mean, I didn’t need to do it as a strong hero-to-be classmate saw us and must have read the panic in my face, and instead yelled stronger than anyone else to announce Edgar had to get out too and extending his arms, managed to direct the cattle of students to a halt and let us get out of the classroom, we thanked him and re-arranged our priorities to survive.
The movement kept going, it seemed like hours, but only a few second had passed by. I was still pushing Edgar on the hall and considered dropping him like a truck dumps rocks, down the steps to a little garden in the center of the school, but cleverly, he talked me out the idea to proceed to plan B, which was to keep going towards the wheelchair’s ramps that would put us in safe open space.
We reached the ramp, and got our backs in the middle of the school’s patio; then I looked up and saw it, the trees moving like if hit by the winds of a strong hurricane, the poles of the flag swinging crashing against the lanterns on the green spaces, everyone there felt safe, but still vulnerable. We couldn’t do anything, just observe, dream, and fear.
2 minutes later, it was over. What seemed an eternity transformed into uncertainty, would it come back? Are we safe? Where is my family? Has it finally stopped?
And there we stood, as the new structure dictated by nature took place, the sky was still blue, the birds came back, and life begun rebuilding itself after an experience that I would always remember with fear, admiration and a smile.
SDIH (5/22/2008)
I was 15, and like any teenager, I couldn’t care less about anyone I knew, except probably for some of my friends. It was a school day, and that meant an early morning to prepare for the long day ahead. I stopped, looked at my calendar, it was October 9th, a rather hot morning for that day I thought, I marked a smiley face on the box enclosing the date, and marched out of my bedroom thinking, “a new week, let’s do it”.
The signs of the regularity of a Monday morning were insignificant, almost unnoticeable, but for some reason, I stopped in the middle of the road on my way to school, I smelled the air and I noticed something about it that was not familiar: There was no wind; I could only feel the warmth feeling of the cement of the sidewalk reflecting the heat of the early rays of the sun on my face. There were no sounds, I couldn’t hear the early birds chirping nor see the crows on the fields looking for their breakfast; in a flash, I knew, but just as fast, I seemed to have forgotten and kept on walking, looked at my watch, it was 6:40 in the morning, I had to hurry.
My high-school years were good, I had goals, and several projects going on trying to rebuild my already damaged self esteem from my junior-high years, and I was doing a good job. Nothing had warned me about the build up of anticipation that I could sense, but that I just couldn’t read, I then focused on existing, on doing what I was supposed to be doing.
The long laboratory class room was filled with students, practice books, and hanging objects that were trying to clarify the physics behind periodic movements and the effect of deceleration, the scope of our job: The oscillatory movement. How ironic.
4 long cement desks containing 4 sets of lab sinks covered in cool white ceramic tiles worked as our operation central, two groups of 6 to 7 students would team up to complete the tasks of the class, first planning the experiments, then setting up the area and finally writing the reports on the thin paper booklets that our teacher would collect at the end of the class.
I looked at my watch again, 9:30 in the morning, I was already writing my report and I was happy to be 20 minutes early so then I could wonder around the school before my next class. Some teams were already done with their experiments and were setting their metal benches on top of their tables waiting to line up to be checked by the laboratory assistant to verify that they were clear to go.
One second later, I could sense it, the same feeling I had earlier that morning; the chatting sound of students became softer and softer until it was a distant murmur in the back of my head, I looked out, and noticed the trees were still, the usual morning breeze that came down from the mountains at this time of the day was absent, and then I looked at the grass fields behind the classroom, the crows had fled.
I chose to ignore my intuition, and continued writing my report; the voices of students combined with the clanking sound of benches against ceramic tiles became louder in my head, making it difficult to concentrate trying to describe why the “periodic movement” made my life easier. Then it came...
... Just like an angry tiger who finds a way out of his cage in the middle of a multitude, slowly, but firmly, the table began moving, and in my concentration, I was unable to react.
The sounds changed from friendly chats to silence, everyone’s brains connected in what our suspicions were soon confirmed it was an earthquake, from silence to doubt, to people trying to verify that they were really awake, and in a flash, the levels of adrenaline spiked and transformed into a collective hysteria, spreading from student to student; and just like that, I could hear it, coming from inside the earth, sounds of rolling stone about to emerge, I knew it was about to get worse.
I stood up, I looked, I could only see the faces of confusion combined with fear, then the shake changed, from an almost nursing oscillatory wave to a more chaotic Rayleigh wave that made everything shake and fall.
My heart began bumping, and my head started feeling warm, I sensed fear, and I could only think of getting out of the classroom, my senses sharpened to a point where the only thing I was able to focus was the exit; which began cramming with students rushing out of the building.
And in an instant, reacting to an instinct, I looked back to the part of the classroom nobody else was paying attention to, and there he was, my friend, motionless, unable to rush out like everybody else sitting on his wheel chair waving back at me. Instantly I came back, I re-gained control and rushed back inside the womb of chaos.
With an unfamiliar agility I jumped over his chair to the back of it, gained a firm grip to the handles and warned him it wasn’t going to get pretty; but then I saw the door, it was full of people trying to get out, and I apologized internally (as I wasn’t planning on announcing my intentions) for the running over that was about to occur as I had the firm purpose of using Edgar as a bull guard on my classmates.
…I didn’t do it, I mean, I didn’t need to do it as a strong hero-to-be classmate saw us and must have read the panic in my face, and instead yelled stronger than anyone else to announce Edgar had to get out too and extending his arms, managed to direct the cattle of students to a halt and let us get out of the classroom, we thanked him and re-arranged our priorities to survive.
The movement kept going, it seemed like hours, but only a few second had passed by. I was still pushing Edgar on the hall and considered dropping him like a truck dumps rocks, down the steps to a little garden in the center of the school, but cleverly, he talked me out the idea to proceed to plan B, which was to keep going towards the wheelchair’s ramps that would put us in safe open space.
We reached the ramp, and got our backs in the middle of the school’s patio; then I looked up and saw it, the trees moving like if hit by the winds of a strong hurricane, the poles of the flag swinging crashing against the lanterns on the green spaces, everyone there felt safe, but still vulnerable. We couldn’t do anything, just observe, dream, and fear.
2 minutes later, it was over. What seemed an eternity transformed into uncertainty, would it come back? Are we safe? Where is my family? Has it finally stopped?
And there we stood, as the new structure dictated by nature took place, the sky was still blue, the birds came back, and life begun rebuilding itself after an experience that I would always remember with fear, admiration and a smile.
SDIH (5/22/2008)
For you (mother's day)
For you
It was hard to keep the smile,
When the beauty of my memories deluged the mind
Difficultly I lost sight,
filling my eyes with an involuntary flow of life
Note after note, word after word,
I built my story with what seemed an endless script
And without a sound, you were here,
Looking at me, just like in the lost forgotten childhood dreams
I remembered sweetly but painfully
The reasons of my sorrow, and my unconditional loyalty
I immensely felt the pain of the distance,
The ever-lasting path we shared, and the beats of my heart
One by one, they turned you away
Back to where you belong, inside my hopes and dearest fears
Slowly, the case was closed
My eyes were clear, and in a gasp, my heart felt warm.
SDIH (5/12/2008)
It was hard to keep the smile,
When the beauty of my memories deluged the mind
Difficultly I lost sight,
filling my eyes with an involuntary flow of life
Note after note, word after word,
I built my story with what seemed an endless script
And without a sound, you were here,
Looking at me, just like in the lost forgotten childhood dreams
I remembered sweetly but painfully
The reasons of my sorrow, and my unconditional loyalty
I immensely felt the pain of the distance,
The ever-lasting path we shared, and the beats of my heart
One by one, they turned you away
Back to where you belong, inside my hopes and dearest fears
Slowly, the case was closed
My eyes were clear, and in a gasp, my heart felt warm.
SDIH (5/12/2008)
Simply life... an instant
In the middle of the chaos that typifies normality
A sudden moment, where assumed silence had suddenly changed
The sound of seagulls, bugs and chirping birds
I opened my eyes and looked around
The mist of an early morning mellowed the rays of the sun
I looked around, and saw life.
I closed my mind, and heard life.
The sounds that we choose to ignore, but that mean the world to some
The gifts, the moment, the instant relief of hope
All of those were there, and I forgot who I was.
Just like an unexpected happy moment, I sharpened my senses
I smiled, and life smiled back at me.
Just as the sound of the engine of my car died,
And the voices of the radio faded in the back of my head
I heard the sound of beauty, surrounding my nature,
subliming the core of my heart to its delighting.
I felt love, and without warning, a tear came down my cheek
I came back, forgiven and redeemed.
SDIH (4/30/2008)
A sudden moment, where assumed silence had suddenly changed
The sound of seagulls, bugs and chirping birds
I opened my eyes and looked around
The mist of an early morning mellowed the rays of the sun
I looked around, and saw life.
I closed my mind, and heard life.
The sounds that we choose to ignore, but that mean the world to some
The gifts, the moment, the instant relief of hope
All of those were there, and I forgot who I was.
Just like an unexpected happy moment, I sharpened my senses
I smiled, and life smiled back at me.
Just as the sound of the engine of my car died,
And the voices of the radio faded in the back of my head
I heard the sound of beauty, surrounding my nature,
subliming the core of my heart to its delighting.
I felt love, and without warning, a tear came down my cheek
I came back, forgiven and redeemed.
SDIH (4/30/2008)
Tonto Corazon (Lyrics of a song)
Encontrarte fue muy facil
sucedio tan simplemente como pasan las mañanas.
Descubrirte fue sublime
sucedió naturalmente, como flor en primavera.
Comprenderte ya no supe
Impusiste tus barreras y tus reglas sin sentido
Detenerme, ya no pude
Una vez que el corazon, hace casa en la cabeza
y fué así, me enamoré.
(4/18/2008)
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
Me dejaste solamente con el corazon herido
y mi mano en la garganta
Te me fuiste de mi vida, como barco en un naufragio,
como nube en la tormenta
Yo que tanto te queria, tu que tanto me temias,
Con la vida entre tus manos, y en la mia en una herida
Y no pude despertar,
no me supe despertarpor que yo...
me enamore.
Aprendi a no quererte,
aunque tuve que cambiar de direccion varias veces
Aprendi a no buscarte,
Entre miradas perdidas o muy dentro de mi mente
y creo que aprendi a odiarte,
por momentos sin sentido,
pero nunca permanentes
Y mi corazon tambien,
Ha aprendio a protegerse.
Me dejaste esta herencia,
de una vida sin tenerte.
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
por que yo... me enamore.
sucedio tan simplemente como pasan las mañanas.
Descubrirte fue sublime
sucedió naturalmente, como flor en primavera.
Comprenderte ya no supe
Impusiste tus barreras y tus reglas sin sentido
Detenerme, ya no pude
Una vez que el corazon, hace casa en la cabeza
y fué así, me enamoré.
(4/18/2008)
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
Me dejaste solamente con el corazon herido
y mi mano en la garganta
Te me fuiste de mi vida, como barco en un naufragio,
como nube en la tormenta
Yo que tanto te queria, tu que tanto me temias,
Con la vida entre tus manos, y en la mia en una herida
Y no pude despertar,
no me supe despertarpor que yo...
me enamore.
Aprendi a no quererte,
aunque tuve que cambiar de direccion varias veces
Aprendi a no buscarte,
Entre miradas perdidas o muy dentro de mi mente
y creo que aprendi a odiarte,
por momentos sin sentido,
pero nunca permanentes
Y mi corazon tambien,
Ha aprendio a protegerse.
Me dejaste esta herencia,
de una vida sin tenerte.
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
por que yo... me enamore.
A breeze of Spring
Gentle whispers coldly blow
Wake the spirit, warm the soul.
Lonely moments, first time grow,
Life resuming, winter ‘s gone.
Green looks fragile, color shows
Hope emerges, fills with glow.
Gentle whispers warmly blow
Wake the season, Spring has come.
SDIH (4/10/2008)
Wake the spirit, warm the soul.
Lonely moments, first time grow,
Life resuming, winter ‘s gone.
Green looks fragile, color shows
Hope emerges, fills with glow.
Gentle whispers warmly blow
Wake the season, Spring has come.
SDIH (4/10/2008)
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