Uninvited

I have dreamed about this moment so many times…

When it hits my night becomes darker, brighter, heavier, and lighter, all at the same time..

When it comes as a day dream my day transforms in a split second into an imaginary world that feels like those in real life, for just a moment, and nothing more.

In this dream, this image in my head, there are two constants; you, and I. The setting changes mostly all of the times; if it is a smell or a sound that brings me there, then that place gets tainted with an nonexistent piece of history that lives inside my head and fears.

If it is within my dreams, it really doesn’t matter, it takes me wherever it wants, but always with a sense of unexpected surprise, just like when an uninvited guest shows up at the least expected moment before supper.

And then, there you are, materialized in between shadows of fuzzy mental pictures and images that sometimes lack of any sense.

The way you are inside those stories, is never the same; but then it is me, the second piece of this equation; I usually lay in absolute fear, unequivocal expectation and an irrational willing to run as fast as I can to feel my heart pounding with something else other than a broken dream. I know that feeling well, I have learned to become its friend; It is anxiety mixed with adrenaline with an absolute sense of sadness.

But beyond the initial setup, I always start the chat, and you always listen. You listen up to the point where I get to see a reaction, a response, any hint, and then you disappear and either my dream changes completely or the mental image evaporates right in front of my eyes.

It dows leave me dry, senseless, naked and without any thoughts as to how to keep on going, just like a ship strained in the middle of the ocean after the storm.

With these words, product of the thoughts that belong to you I say farewell for now; since a good bye won’t do, I must just patiently wait for when you decide to pay an unexpected visit to my dinner party again.

What can I say, without you, I wouldn’t be the person who I am now...

Sleep well.

Cuando esntraste...

Cuando entraste en mi vida, no te esperaba,
Pero sabia que entrarías de esta forma;
Dentro, tan dentro que parece que ahí vivías,
Esperando, quieto, suave, sereno y exacto.

Cuando entraste en mi vida, tenia sed de ti;
No te conocía, ni sabia que vendrías, pero te esperaba.
En un instante, furtivo como el viento, me tocaste,
y tu toque fue como rayo de sol, o rocío de mañana.

Cuando entraste en mi vida, no te conocía,
Te reconocí de entre-ojo, como cuando ves a alguien en el metro,
pero te seguí, y te permití entrar en mis sentidos;
Por que así te quiero, y así te soñé.

Cuando entraste en mi vida, me la compusiste,
le diste un sentido, una nueva vida;
le regalaste la esperanza perdida, la fuerza del alma,
y así, lentamente, sin mas palabras, me enamore.

Late at night

Why does sadness get me late at night?
When my thoughts are blurred by the fullness of the day
And my ideas degrade to simple whispers

Why does sadness get me late at night?
When a senseless song suddenly transforms into a lifestyle
And my memories take me on a ride through yesterday.

Why does sadness get me late at night?
Why not in the middle of a dinner party, or as I jump up and down in a bar
And my laughs cover my thoughts, making me numb.

Why do many whys seem to always close my day?
While I contemplate my mind shut down, slowly, heavily, heavenly
And my dreams become white noise, as my lamp turns off.

You get me back

Suddenly I was back, sitting in the little wooden desk
Looking out the window, in between the multicoloured glass
Surrounded by the severe look of old medicine books
In my eyes, the expectation; in the air, that peculiar smell

I start rolling the little handles that lift the sheets of glass
It opens the outside, invites it in with a blow, a whisper of the wind
And I can sense it, the dust on the thick, dark-green leaves of the orange tree flies,
Just like magic sparkle does in dreams, but fades away, disappears

I look up, in between the shady spots of trees, and the sky looks grey
The wind brings far from the distance that smell, the one of hope, it’s wet, it’s sweet
Just as an orchestra prepares its gear, tiny unforgotten sounds fill the air
My eyes widen, my mind opens, it’s the moment, I make it mine.

I drop my little yellow pencil down, as the chopped pieces pierce my notebook’s pages
The numbers, geography and principles of grammar are no longer in my mind.
I need to be part of it; I escape my jail, I stand in that patch of man-made land.
And the wind brings news of change, a long-due promise, the one of life.

The signals are imminent; the wind is now strong and makes ghostly sounds
The clouds race fiercely in the sky, as I look up, eager for more, thirsty…
My mother runs from room to room, closing windows, turning mirrors around
The old routine of anticipated moments starts, like a bizarre dance

As the time click-clocks, in a slow, steady pace, I know it’s here
The moment that I wished to taste, the one that it’s as rare as six months are for a child
Then my mother shouts from a window, demanding me back inside… a drop falls,
It hits my cheek, and it feels cold, and just like that, it sets itself immortal in my mind.

Tierra herida

Dicen que el tiempo borra heridas
Cubre huellas y caminos
Dicen que las décadas secan gajos de memorias
Y que el dolor, por más que duela, el tiempo lo apacigua

Pero hoy, te miro y te desconozco
Cambiaste tu semblante tibio y sereno por un alma corrompida
Hoy te apodan con nombre de pistolas
Y a tus costillas se burlan con frases desconocidas.

Hoy, tú ya no eres lo que eras, lo que viví y antes conocía
Hoy, se han cambiado los campos por cenizas,
Solo se oye la voz de tu llanto quedo y la avaricia
Con la ráfaga del diablo, firman tu desdicha

Hoy ya no eres mi tierra buena, de corazones blancos
Tierra de cocos, loros, domingos de plaza y sonrisas
El ayer parece desvanecer entre memorias confusas
Hoy mi tierra llora, y no es de lluvia, es de una herida

Lo que eras, lo que fuiste, de lo que me enamoré terminó
Y no sé si cantarte un obituario, o un deseo
Pero hoy, te miro y con dolor mi alma llora
Por que hoy, te están matando, mi tierra de palmeras, mi Colima.

Just like blood

What I like, is what I have already seen
I never expected to make it this way, it was life
Am I the one to blame? Perhaps…
But the “who” I am now, is what I chose to be

The mistakes, the shadows…
The shinning victories, the love…
This is all my inheritance to life
The simple verses of my thoughts

When you walk forward, you create
When you create, you unfold
Unfolding my possibilities brought me pain
But the pain made me a man, killing the poet

The poet brought me pleasure
The pleasure brought me freedom
The freedom brought me love
And the love trapped my soul

After the war was fought, I took a moment…
I thought about the battles, the combats
And chose to contemplate my graveyard
Shutting myself down, to alleviate the sorrows

But then I forgot, that as everyone knows,
After every storm, the calm awaits
But I kept my eyes shut, the hope was gone
I left my inspiration locked, inside the rock

And the lights got shut down
The curtains drown
As the flame slowly froze
But my hope, was kept alive…

… And now, it’s time to write.

For T.

Welcome back

The sweet tones of a mellow song
The unexpected words of an unheard poem
The mild smells drifting from the wood
Inside of all that you hide, and in an instant, you’re back

You trap me, you fill my insides with a warm buzz
My nose feels an itch, and my heart shrinks
And without a warning, you take me away
Back to my memories, my roots, my forgotten dreams

It takes just an instant, but you get me back
Reality shifts, and suddenly, I’m gone
The back seat of a compact car, cruising on a cold morning
The family trips, the thrill of a childhood life.

With no more than just my memories, I carry on
What I felt, I feel no more, and I can barely bring it back
What I sensed is now a cloud…
But those notes, words and smells, set me straight

Nostalgia, you! The sneakiest of the senses
The one that reminds us that as long as we have a mind
We will have our past, tattooed to our souls
And in an instant, and without warning, you take us back.