I was unaware, and I opened my eyes, the door, and my mind
Suddenly the glass door, that one that closes by the force of an overstretched spring
slowly condensed with the cool wet breeze of an early morning.
I witness how the translucent becomes opaque; slowly, sublime,
I didn’t move, holding a bag in my hands, I felt light, ready.
The air was cold, with anticipation and hope.
I touched the fragile cover of watery consistency,
And my finger was the brush; the door the canvas.
And in sense and spirit, I marked a path.
Slowly, unstoppable, it created, shaped and ran.
The shapes, the art, was all there, being born,
And I witnessed what I knew wouldn’t last
My eyes filled with possibilities, my hands were wet
The lines changed, the circles joined, and it was mine
My work of art, of inspiration… my piece of mind
Just like I imagined as a child, tears were from heaven
The condensation gave up, and erased the tales
Those that I made up in my head and that my finger brought to life
I step back, half of what it was, was already gone
I looked, and smiled, thankful and aware
Of the gift that I allowed myself to get.
The gift of sudden,
The beauty of fragile
The privilege of a stolen smile.
The tears of condensation.
The ones that were from heaven,
Now running in my eyes.
SDIH (05/29/2008)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
When was the last time?
When was the last time?
That you threw yourself on the grass, and saw time pass by.
That you Took a moment to smell the scent from a tree
That you Stopped to listen to the murmurs of an early morning,
And Gave a deep breath, and filled your lungs with air
How much does it cost?
To buy the last rays of the sun setting on the horizon
The shades of blue, orange and purple in the sky
To touch the soft petals of a flower
The smell of warm soup in a cool evening
Why did we stop?
Spinning around in circles, looking up high in the sky
Running down a hill with the anticipation of simply falling.
Having dreams of incredulous yet fantastic possibilities,
Believing we could, even against all odds.
The last time we took the moment to understand
That we are no longer children, that we have changed
That our natural instincts, lay inside, mostly dead
That’s how our innocence deserves a requiem.
The last time we checked, we had grown up.
Why is life so real, so solid, so wrong.
Waste is now a verb that we avoid,
As we try to earn a solid, cold, shared goal.
When was the last time?
You told yourself a story to go to bed,
You heard the sound of the soul in your head.
How much does it cost?
To gain all those dreams again
To talk to God and feel my prays
Why did we stop?
To just let go with joy,
To be ourselves.
SDIH (5/27/2008)
That you threw yourself on the grass, and saw time pass by.
That you Took a moment to smell the scent from a tree
That you Stopped to listen to the murmurs of an early morning,
And Gave a deep breath, and filled your lungs with air
How much does it cost?
To buy the last rays of the sun setting on the horizon
The shades of blue, orange and purple in the sky
To touch the soft petals of a flower
The smell of warm soup in a cool evening
Why did we stop?
Spinning around in circles, looking up high in the sky
Running down a hill with the anticipation of simply falling.
Having dreams of incredulous yet fantastic possibilities,
Believing we could, even against all odds.
The last time we took the moment to understand
That we are no longer children, that we have changed
That our natural instincts, lay inside, mostly dead
That’s how our innocence deserves a requiem.
The last time we checked, we had grown up.
Why is life so real, so solid, so wrong.
Waste is now a verb that we avoid,
As we try to earn a solid, cold, shared goal.
When was the last time?
You told yourself a story to go to bed,
You heard the sound of the soul in your head.
How much does it cost?
To gain all those dreams again
To talk to God and feel my prays
Why did we stop?
To just let go with joy,
To be ourselves.
SDIH (5/27/2008)
When “usual” changes
Just like always, the faded sounds of church bells and roosters gave away an early morning unfolding in the horizon. As in the beginning of any tale, the ideas in my head seemed pointless and confused.
I was 15, and like any teenager, I couldn’t care less about anyone I knew, except probably for some of my friends. It was a school day, and that meant an early morning to prepare for the long day ahead. I stopped, looked at my calendar, it was October 9th, a rather hot morning for that day I thought, I marked a smiley face on the box enclosing the date, and marched out of my bedroom thinking, “a new week, let’s do it”.
The signs of the regularity of a Monday morning were insignificant, almost unnoticeable, but for some reason, I stopped in the middle of the road on my way to school, I smelled the air and I noticed something about it that was not familiar: There was no wind; I could only feel the warmth feeling of the cement of the sidewalk reflecting the heat of the early rays of the sun on my face. There were no sounds, I couldn’t hear the early birds chirping nor see the crows on the fields looking for their breakfast; in a flash, I knew, but just as fast, I seemed to have forgotten and kept on walking, looked at my watch, it was 6:40 in the morning, I had to hurry.
My high-school years were good, I had goals, and several projects going on trying to rebuild my already damaged self esteem from my junior-high years, and I was doing a good job. Nothing had warned me about the build up of anticipation that I could sense, but that I just couldn’t read, I then focused on existing, on doing what I was supposed to be doing.
The long laboratory class room was filled with students, practice books, and hanging objects that were trying to clarify the physics behind periodic movements and the effect of deceleration, the scope of our job: The oscillatory movement. How ironic.
4 long cement desks containing 4 sets of lab sinks covered in cool white ceramic tiles worked as our operation central, two groups of 6 to 7 students would team up to complete the tasks of the class, first planning the experiments, then setting up the area and finally writing the reports on the thin paper booklets that our teacher would collect at the end of the class.
I looked at my watch again, 9:30 in the morning, I was already writing my report and I was happy to be 20 minutes early so then I could wonder around the school before my next class. Some teams were already done with their experiments and were setting their metal benches on top of their tables waiting to line up to be checked by the laboratory assistant to verify that they were clear to go.
One second later, I could sense it, the same feeling I had earlier that morning; the chatting sound of students became softer and softer until it was a distant murmur in the back of my head, I looked out, and noticed the trees were still, the usual morning breeze that came down from the mountains at this time of the day was absent, and then I looked at the grass fields behind the classroom, the crows had fled.
I chose to ignore my intuition, and continued writing my report; the voices of students combined with the clanking sound of benches against ceramic tiles became louder in my head, making it difficult to concentrate trying to describe why the “periodic movement” made my life easier. Then it came...
... Just like an angry tiger who finds a way out of his cage in the middle of a multitude, slowly, but firmly, the table began moving, and in my concentration, I was unable to react.
The sounds changed from friendly chats to silence, everyone’s brains connected in what our suspicions were soon confirmed it was an earthquake, from silence to doubt, to people trying to verify that they were really awake, and in a flash, the levels of adrenaline spiked and transformed into a collective hysteria, spreading from student to student; and just like that, I could hear it, coming from inside the earth, sounds of rolling stone about to emerge, I knew it was about to get worse.
I stood up, I looked, I could only see the faces of confusion combined with fear, then the shake changed, from an almost nursing oscillatory wave to a more chaotic Rayleigh wave that made everything shake and fall.
My heart began bumping, and my head started feeling warm, I sensed fear, and I could only think of getting out of the classroom, my senses sharpened to a point where the only thing I was able to focus was the exit; which began cramming with students rushing out of the building.
And in an instant, reacting to an instinct, I looked back to the part of the classroom nobody else was paying attention to, and there he was, my friend, motionless, unable to rush out like everybody else sitting on his wheel chair waving back at me. Instantly I came back, I re-gained control and rushed back inside the womb of chaos.
With an unfamiliar agility I jumped over his chair to the back of it, gained a firm grip to the handles and warned him it wasn’t going to get pretty; but then I saw the door, it was full of people trying to get out, and I apologized internally (as I wasn’t planning on announcing my intentions) for the running over that was about to occur as I had the firm purpose of using Edgar as a bull guard on my classmates.
…I didn’t do it, I mean, I didn’t need to do it as a strong hero-to-be classmate saw us and must have read the panic in my face, and instead yelled stronger than anyone else to announce Edgar had to get out too and extending his arms, managed to direct the cattle of students to a halt and let us get out of the classroom, we thanked him and re-arranged our priorities to survive.
The movement kept going, it seemed like hours, but only a few second had passed by. I was still pushing Edgar on the hall and considered dropping him like a truck dumps rocks, down the steps to a little garden in the center of the school, but cleverly, he talked me out the idea to proceed to plan B, which was to keep going towards the wheelchair’s ramps that would put us in safe open space.
We reached the ramp, and got our backs in the middle of the school’s patio; then I looked up and saw it, the trees moving like if hit by the winds of a strong hurricane, the poles of the flag swinging crashing against the lanterns on the green spaces, everyone there felt safe, but still vulnerable. We couldn’t do anything, just observe, dream, and fear.
2 minutes later, it was over. What seemed an eternity transformed into uncertainty, would it come back? Are we safe? Where is my family? Has it finally stopped?
And there we stood, as the new structure dictated by nature took place, the sky was still blue, the birds came back, and life begun rebuilding itself after an experience that I would always remember with fear, admiration and a smile.
SDIH (5/22/2008)
I was 15, and like any teenager, I couldn’t care less about anyone I knew, except probably for some of my friends. It was a school day, and that meant an early morning to prepare for the long day ahead. I stopped, looked at my calendar, it was October 9th, a rather hot morning for that day I thought, I marked a smiley face on the box enclosing the date, and marched out of my bedroom thinking, “a new week, let’s do it”.
The signs of the regularity of a Monday morning were insignificant, almost unnoticeable, but for some reason, I stopped in the middle of the road on my way to school, I smelled the air and I noticed something about it that was not familiar: There was no wind; I could only feel the warmth feeling of the cement of the sidewalk reflecting the heat of the early rays of the sun on my face. There were no sounds, I couldn’t hear the early birds chirping nor see the crows on the fields looking for their breakfast; in a flash, I knew, but just as fast, I seemed to have forgotten and kept on walking, looked at my watch, it was 6:40 in the morning, I had to hurry.
My high-school years were good, I had goals, and several projects going on trying to rebuild my already damaged self esteem from my junior-high years, and I was doing a good job. Nothing had warned me about the build up of anticipation that I could sense, but that I just couldn’t read, I then focused on existing, on doing what I was supposed to be doing.
The long laboratory class room was filled with students, practice books, and hanging objects that were trying to clarify the physics behind periodic movements and the effect of deceleration, the scope of our job: The oscillatory movement. How ironic.
4 long cement desks containing 4 sets of lab sinks covered in cool white ceramic tiles worked as our operation central, two groups of 6 to 7 students would team up to complete the tasks of the class, first planning the experiments, then setting up the area and finally writing the reports on the thin paper booklets that our teacher would collect at the end of the class.
I looked at my watch again, 9:30 in the morning, I was already writing my report and I was happy to be 20 minutes early so then I could wonder around the school before my next class. Some teams were already done with their experiments and were setting their metal benches on top of their tables waiting to line up to be checked by the laboratory assistant to verify that they were clear to go.
One second later, I could sense it, the same feeling I had earlier that morning; the chatting sound of students became softer and softer until it was a distant murmur in the back of my head, I looked out, and noticed the trees were still, the usual morning breeze that came down from the mountains at this time of the day was absent, and then I looked at the grass fields behind the classroom, the crows had fled.
I chose to ignore my intuition, and continued writing my report; the voices of students combined with the clanking sound of benches against ceramic tiles became louder in my head, making it difficult to concentrate trying to describe why the “periodic movement” made my life easier. Then it came...
... Just like an angry tiger who finds a way out of his cage in the middle of a multitude, slowly, but firmly, the table began moving, and in my concentration, I was unable to react.
The sounds changed from friendly chats to silence, everyone’s brains connected in what our suspicions were soon confirmed it was an earthquake, from silence to doubt, to people trying to verify that they were really awake, and in a flash, the levels of adrenaline spiked and transformed into a collective hysteria, spreading from student to student; and just like that, I could hear it, coming from inside the earth, sounds of rolling stone about to emerge, I knew it was about to get worse.
I stood up, I looked, I could only see the faces of confusion combined with fear, then the shake changed, from an almost nursing oscillatory wave to a more chaotic Rayleigh wave that made everything shake and fall.
My heart began bumping, and my head started feeling warm, I sensed fear, and I could only think of getting out of the classroom, my senses sharpened to a point where the only thing I was able to focus was the exit; which began cramming with students rushing out of the building.
And in an instant, reacting to an instinct, I looked back to the part of the classroom nobody else was paying attention to, and there he was, my friend, motionless, unable to rush out like everybody else sitting on his wheel chair waving back at me. Instantly I came back, I re-gained control and rushed back inside the womb of chaos.
With an unfamiliar agility I jumped over his chair to the back of it, gained a firm grip to the handles and warned him it wasn’t going to get pretty; but then I saw the door, it was full of people trying to get out, and I apologized internally (as I wasn’t planning on announcing my intentions) for the running over that was about to occur as I had the firm purpose of using Edgar as a bull guard on my classmates.
…I didn’t do it, I mean, I didn’t need to do it as a strong hero-to-be classmate saw us and must have read the panic in my face, and instead yelled stronger than anyone else to announce Edgar had to get out too and extending his arms, managed to direct the cattle of students to a halt and let us get out of the classroom, we thanked him and re-arranged our priorities to survive.
The movement kept going, it seemed like hours, but only a few second had passed by. I was still pushing Edgar on the hall and considered dropping him like a truck dumps rocks, down the steps to a little garden in the center of the school, but cleverly, he talked me out the idea to proceed to plan B, which was to keep going towards the wheelchair’s ramps that would put us in safe open space.
We reached the ramp, and got our backs in the middle of the school’s patio; then I looked up and saw it, the trees moving like if hit by the winds of a strong hurricane, the poles of the flag swinging crashing against the lanterns on the green spaces, everyone there felt safe, but still vulnerable. We couldn’t do anything, just observe, dream, and fear.
2 minutes later, it was over. What seemed an eternity transformed into uncertainty, would it come back? Are we safe? Where is my family? Has it finally stopped?
And there we stood, as the new structure dictated by nature took place, the sky was still blue, the birds came back, and life begun rebuilding itself after an experience that I would always remember with fear, admiration and a smile.
SDIH (5/22/2008)
For you (mother's day)
For you
It was hard to keep the smile,
When the beauty of my memories deluged the mind
Difficultly I lost sight,
filling my eyes with an involuntary flow of life
Note after note, word after word,
I built my story with what seemed an endless script
And without a sound, you were here,
Looking at me, just like in the lost forgotten childhood dreams
I remembered sweetly but painfully
The reasons of my sorrow, and my unconditional loyalty
I immensely felt the pain of the distance,
The ever-lasting path we shared, and the beats of my heart
One by one, they turned you away
Back to where you belong, inside my hopes and dearest fears
Slowly, the case was closed
My eyes were clear, and in a gasp, my heart felt warm.
SDIH (5/12/2008)
It was hard to keep the smile,
When the beauty of my memories deluged the mind
Difficultly I lost sight,
filling my eyes with an involuntary flow of life
Note after note, word after word,
I built my story with what seemed an endless script
And without a sound, you were here,
Looking at me, just like in the lost forgotten childhood dreams
I remembered sweetly but painfully
The reasons of my sorrow, and my unconditional loyalty
I immensely felt the pain of the distance,
The ever-lasting path we shared, and the beats of my heart
One by one, they turned you away
Back to where you belong, inside my hopes and dearest fears
Slowly, the case was closed
My eyes were clear, and in a gasp, my heart felt warm.
SDIH (5/12/2008)
Simply life... an instant
In the middle of the chaos that typifies normality
A sudden moment, where assumed silence had suddenly changed
The sound of seagulls, bugs and chirping birds
I opened my eyes and looked around
The mist of an early morning mellowed the rays of the sun
I looked around, and saw life.
I closed my mind, and heard life.
The sounds that we choose to ignore, but that mean the world to some
The gifts, the moment, the instant relief of hope
All of those were there, and I forgot who I was.
Just like an unexpected happy moment, I sharpened my senses
I smiled, and life smiled back at me.
Just as the sound of the engine of my car died,
And the voices of the radio faded in the back of my head
I heard the sound of beauty, surrounding my nature,
subliming the core of my heart to its delighting.
I felt love, and without warning, a tear came down my cheek
I came back, forgiven and redeemed.
SDIH (4/30/2008)
A sudden moment, where assumed silence had suddenly changed
The sound of seagulls, bugs and chirping birds
I opened my eyes and looked around
The mist of an early morning mellowed the rays of the sun
I looked around, and saw life.
I closed my mind, and heard life.
The sounds that we choose to ignore, but that mean the world to some
The gifts, the moment, the instant relief of hope
All of those were there, and I forgot who I was.
Just like an unexpected happy moment, I sharpened my senses
I smiled, and life smiled back at me.
Just as the sound of the engine of my car died,
And the voices of the radio faded in the back of my head
I heard the sound of beauty, surrounding my nature,
subliming the core of my heart to its delighting.
I felt love, and without warning, a tear came down my cheek
I came back, forgiven and redeemed.
SDIH (4/30/2008)
Tonto Corazon (Lyrics of a song)
Encontrarte fue muy facil
sucedio tan simplemente como pasan las mañanas.
Descubrirte fue sublime
sucedió naturalmente, como flor en primavera.
Comprenderte ya no supe
Impusiste tus barreras y tus reglas sin sentido
Detenerme, ya no pude
Una vez que el corazon, hace casa en la cabeza
y fué así, me enamoré.
(4/18/2008)
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
Me dejaste solamente con el corazon herido
y mi mano en la garganta
Te me fuiste de mi vida, como barco en un naufragio,
como nube en la tormenta
Yo que tanto te queria, tu que tanto me temias,
Con la vida entre tus manos, y en la mia en una herida
Y no pude despertar,
no me supe despertarpor que yo...
me enamore.
Aprendi a no quererte,
aunque tuve que cambiar de direccion varias veces
Aprendi a no buscarte,
Entre miradas perdidas o muy dentro de mi mente
y creo que aprendi a odiarte,
por momentos sin sentido,
pero nunca permanentes
Y mi corazon tambien,
Ha aprendio a protegerse.
Me dejaste esta herencia,
de una vida sin tenerte.
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
por que yo... me enamore.
sucedio tan simplemente como pasan las mañanas.
Descubrirte fue sublime
sucedió naturalmente, como flor en primavera.
Comprenderte ya no supe
Impusiste tus barreras y tus reglas sin sentido
Detenerme, ya no pude
Una vez que el corazon, hace casa en la cabeza
y fué así, me enamoré.
(4/18/2008)
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
Me dejaste solamente con el corazon herido
y mi mano en la garganta
Te me fuiste de mi vida, como barco en un naufragio,
como nube en la tormenta
Yo que tanto te queria, tu que tanto me temias,
Con la vida entre tus manos, y en la mia en una herida
Y no pude despertar,
no me supe despertarpor que yo...
me enamore.
Aprendi a no quererte,
aunque tuve que cambiar de direccion varias veces
Aprendi a no buscarte,
Entre miradas perdidas o muy dentro de mi mente
y creo que aprendi a odiarte,
por momentos sin sentido,
pero nunca permanentes
Y mi corazon tambien,
Ha aprendio a protegerse.
Me dejaste esta herencia,
de una vida sin tenerte.
Tú mataste mis sentidos, y robaste mi conciencia
Me mostrate que estoy vivo, y el valor de la tristeza.
Simplemente sucedió, sin poderme darme cuenta
Solo sentía el amor, combinado con dolor, dando vuelta en mi cabeza.
Pero yo no me detuve;
Fué imposible detener, el botón o mecanismo que nos quita la certeza.
Pero tu no me amaste;
Fué mas fuerte la razón, que el poder del corazon... y te fuiste con la niebla.
por que yo... me enamore.
A breeze of Spring
Gentle whispers coldly blow
Wake the spirit, warm the soul.
Lonely moments, first time grow,
Life resuming, winter ‘s gone.
Green looks fragile, color shows
Hope emerges, fills with glow.
Gentle whispers warmly blow
Wake the season, Spring has come.
SDIH (4/10/2008)
Wake the spirit, warm the soul.
Lonely moments, first time grow,
Life resuming, winter ‘s gone.
Green looks fragile, color shows
Hope emerges, fills with glow.
Gentle whispers warmly blow
Wake the season, Spring has come.
SDIH (4/10/2008)
A price so high
“It will soon be day mother” The soft voice said to the fragile looking figure of a woman
“I know darling, we should get ready” The mother replied to the young girl, who was no more than six or seven years old “We have to come back inside”
The mother and daughter lied together on top of a long wooden church bench, along with the figure of other people who were chatting or playing silently in the stone church.
“I don’t understand mum” The child said, “what did we do to deserve this?” asked the little girl, unable to understand the reason why her life was more similar to the one of a prisoner.
“We are being helped sweety, if it wasn’t for this, we wouldn’t be here today” The mother replied in a sweet tone of voice “We have been hiding for so long” she sighted “years seem centuries now” she added “but if it wasn’t for this, we probably would be having this conversation in heaven, with your dad and cousins” the mother concluded.
“Why do they hate us mother?” the little girl replied worried “after all, they share the same God of those who are hiding us, and they seem to think they are doing what’s right” The girl concluded.
“I can’t think of a correct answer my dear girl, all I know, is that we need to survive, we have come so long, and the end is near, I can feel it” The mother answered in a hopeful voice and with tears in her eyes.
“Mother” the little face shinned with doubt, “Is this the price we have to pay?”
“what do you mean Hun” the mother replied confused.
“I don’t think that we own our lives mum” The girl continued “We can’t sing, we can’t play, we can’t see the light of the sun, all we do is hide” the girl cried in a quiet tone which had now became costumary.
“Zara, the end is near” the mother replied, “the smell of powder is different, the sound of guns have changed, I know that we are near” she said.
“What if they find us?, why if the father has to turn us in mother?” the little girl asked with an expression of pain “This is all I know, the rays of the sun at down in our way to our hiding spot” she said looking sick.
The mother then looked at the side door of the church that headed to the streets of that very early morning, some voices could be hears, voices of hope she recognized.
The mother took Zara by the arm and said “Come with me” and ran in the opposite direction of where the other shadows were walking, going back to their hiding spot. She opened the door, and brought Zara out to the light and air of the open space.
The girl’s face flashed with enthusiasm, she was astonished. “Mummy!”
Suddenly a tired man ran next to them and said “The Americans are here!” run to the forest!
The mother gave the girl to the passing stranger and with an anguished look in her face told him “This is my most precious treasure, she will be safer with you, please protect her like if it was yours” and handed the stranger a small box as she ran back into the church to warn everyone to run into the forests.
The man took the small girl who could just say in a soft voice “mamma” as she could not scream out of the strange mixture of emotions, and the man could see in the far distance the German troops retreating to the direction of the church.
He ran into the near forest with Zara by the hand as he could hear shot after shot coming from the hollow walls of the tall medieval church at a distance.
Zara then, unable to understand what has just happened opened her eyes to see the first sunset she had ever seen in her life. The colors of the sky were orange and yellow, and it finished with a strong red reflection of solar rays, red as the blood of the innocent people who died inside that church, including Zara’s mother.
For the first time, Zara lived, and she did for many more years, aware of the price her mother had to pay for her freedom, and the one, Zara paid for her dignity.
A price so high.
SDIH (3/11/2008)
“I know darling, we should get ready” The mother replied to the young girl, who was no more than six or seven years old “We have to come back inside”
The mother and daughter lied together on top of a long wooden church bench, along with the figure of other people who were chatting or playing silently in the stone church.
“I don’t understand mum” The child said, “what did we do to deserve this?” asked the little girl, unable to understand the reason why her life was more similar to the one of a prisoner.
“We are being helped sweety, if it wasn’t for this, we wouldn’t be here today” The mother replied in a sweet tone of voice “We have been hiding for so long” she sighted “years seem centuries now” she added “but if it wasn’t for this, we probably would be having this conversation in heaven, with your dad and cousins” the mother concluded.
“Why do they hate us mother?” the little girl replied worried “after all, they share the same God of those who are hiding us, and they seem to think they are doing what’s right” The girl concluded.
“I can’t think of a correct answer my dear girl, all I know, is that we need to survive, we have come so long, and the end is near, I can feel it” The mother answered in a hopeful voice and with tears in her eyes.
“Mother” the little face shinned with doubt, “Is this the price we have to pay?”
“what do you mean Hun” the mother replied confused.
“I don’t think that we own our lives mum” The girl continued “We can’t sing, we can’t play, we can’t see the light of the sun, all we do is hide” the girl cried in a quiet tone which had now became costumary.
“Zara, the end is near” the mother replied, “the smell of powder is different, the sound of guns have changed, I know that we are near” she said.
“What if they find us?, why if the father has to turn us in mother?” the little girl asked with an expression of pain “This is all I know, the rays of the sun at down in our way to our hiding spot” she said looking sick.
The mother then looked at the side door of the church that headed to the streets of that very early morning, some voices could be hears, voices of hope she recognized.
The mother took Zara by the arm and said “Come with me” and ran in the opposite direction of where the other shadows were walking, going back to their hiding spot. She opened the door, and brought Zara out to the light and air of the open space.
The girl’s face flashed with enthusiasm, she was astonished. “Mummy!”
Suddenly a tired man ran next to them and said “The Americans are here!” run to the forest!
The mother gave the girl to the passing stranger and with an anguished look in her face told him “This is my most precious treasure, she will be safer with you, please protect her like if it was yours” and handed the stranger a small box as she ran back into the church to warn everyone to run into the forests.
The man took the small girl who could just say in a soft voice “mamma” as she could not scream out of the strange mixture of emotions, and the man could see in the far distance the German troops retreating to the direction of the church.
He ran into the near forest with Zara by the hand as he could hear shot after shot coming from the hollow walls of the tall medieval church at a distance.
Zara then, unable to understand what has just happened opened her eyes to see the first sunset she had ever seen in her life. The colors of the sky were orange and yellow, and it finished with a strong red reflection of solar rays, red as the blood of the innocent people who died inside that church, including Zara’s mother.
For the first time, Zara lived, and she did for many more years, aware of the price her mother had to pay for her freedom, and the one, Zara paid for her dignity.
A price so high.
SDIH (3/11/2008)
I lost you and I longed for you
I lost you and I longed you, like a season running out of sight
Missed and needed, but soon forgotten,
Taken by the mist of nightmares from my mind.
I lost you in a shock, that followed another, and I couldn’t recognize
I was blind and sedated, softly bleeding from inside
You were gone out of my system, too quickly to react.
I lost you even in memories, you were simply far away
My head built you in the name of hope,
But sadly enough, you had truly left
I lost you and you’ve come back, I had to let you go
You were the high price I paid
But today you knock my door.
I found you again old friend, how I missed you
You my forgotten ally, my released prison
You are now with me, my dignity, my freedom.
SDIH(3/11/2008)
Missed and needed, but soon forgotten,
Taken by the mist of nightmares from my mind.
I lost you in a shock, that followed another, and I couldn’t recognize
I was blind and sedated, softly bleeding from inside
You were gone out of my system, too quickly to react.
I lost you even in memories, you were simply far away
My head built you in the name of hope,
But sadly enough, you had truly left
I lost you and you’ve come back, I had to let you go
You were the high price I paid
But today you knock my door.
I found you again old friend, how I missed you
You my forgotten ally, my released prison
You are now with me, my dignity, my freedom.
SDIH(3/11/2008)
A morning's Drama
“The Cocoa is Over!” Cried the voice of an upset child from one side of the large wooden kitchen, “You can’t possibly think that I can go to school on a stomach without cocoa”
The nanny who observed in disbelief how little it took for the child in her care to transform into a brat responded calmly “All I can think, and hope for, is that in fifteen minutes, you will be off to school, and I will be free of your unreasonable demands” The nanny said in a clever mood.
Seconds later, the mother rushed into the kitchen looking for all the necessary items to start her day and hurry to work, and from the back of the kitchen a voice cried “There’s no cocoa!” The mother pretending she didn’t hear the cries continued its frantic search for the loose items that seem so indispensable in her large bulky bag
“I SAID THERE IS NOT COCOA” the voice cried in a laud, sharp annoying tone that made the mother stop and look straight to the Nanny expecting that she would take care of this drama; the nanny simply occupied herself under the sink pretending to look for cleaning supplies.
“Well my dear, I am afraid you will need to go to school without your cocoa, there is vanilla shake mix still on the fridge”
“Mother” The infant voice replied “There is a reason why Vanilla is still in there, and it is the same reason why it hasn’t disappeared in the last three years… IT SUCKS” The boy replied in a rather impertinent voice.
“That’s enough of that” The mother said firmly, “You will go to school at once, and if you continue with that behavior, you will be reduced ten percent of your weekly allowance”
Having a doctor for a mother made things difficult for the angry boy who laid with a very uncomforting expression on his face “You know, other children get straight numbers deducted from their allowances!, I am in third year mother! I can’t tell percentages”
The mother looked back with an incredulous look; her boy had the aggravating gift of saying the right things for the wrong reasons. “An that finishes this conversation, and by the way, your allowance will be five pesos less than usual” the mother expressed angrily “and that for you, is 10 percent of your allowance”
The boy looked annoyed and got his calculator out of his bag to double check her mother had done her calculations right, “Well I don’t care mother, now a day, with that kind of money you can get nothing good or worthy anyways!” the boy exclaimed in his angry voice.
On the back of the room, the nanny could not do anything but to think with anger that what the spoiled boy considered to be “the kind of money you couldn’t get anything good for” was her daily salary.
The alarm clock rang and the child was rushed with relieve by the nanny on to the waiting car to take him to school. The nanny remained still, looked into her pocket and saw the 20 pesos she had just pulled out of the brat’s piggy bank and thought to herself “And this my dear, is for this morning’s drama”. She smirked satisfied.
SDIH (3/4/2008)
The nanny who observed in disbelief how little it took for the child in her care to transform into a brat responded calmly “All I can think, and hope for, is that in fifteen minutes, you will be off to school, and I will be free of your unreasonable demands” The nanny said in a clever mood.
Seconds later, the mother rushed into the kitchen looking for all the necessary items to start her day and hurry to work, and from the back of the kitchen a voice cried “There’s no cocoa!” The mother pretending she didn’t hear the cries continued its frantic search for the loose items that seem so indispensable in her large bulky bag
“I SAID THERE IS NOT COCOA” the voice cried in a laud, sharp annoying tone that made the mother stop and look straight to the Nanny expecting that she would take care of this drama; the nanny simply occupied herself under the sink pretending to look for cleaning supplies.
“Well my dear, I am afraid you will need to go to school without your cocoa, there is vanilla shake mix still on the fridge”
“Mother” The infant voice replied “There is a reason why Vanilla is still in there, and it is the same reason why it hasn’t disappeared in the last three years… IT SUCKS” The boy replied in a rather impertinent voice.
“That’s enough of that” The mother said firmly, “You will go to school at once, and if you continue with that behavior, you will be reduced ten percent of your weekly allowance”
Having a doctor for a mother made things difficult for the angry boy who laid with a very uncomforting expression on his face “You know, other children get straight numbers deducted from their allowances!, I am in third year mother! I can’t tell percentages”
The mother looked back with an incredulous look; her boy had the aggravating gift of saying the right things for the wrong reasons. “An that finishes this conversation, and by the way, your allowance will be five pesos less than usual” the mother expressed angrily “and that for you, is 10 percent of your allowance”
The boy looked annoyed and got his calculator out of his bag to double check her mother had done her calculations right, “Well I don’t care mother, now a day, with that kind of money you can get nothing good or worthy anyways!” the boy exclaimed in his angry voice.
On the back of the room, the nanny could not do anything but to think with anger that what the spoiled boy considered to be “the kind of money you couldn’t get anything good for” was her daily salary.
The alarm clock rang and the child was rushed with relieve by the nanny on to the waiting car to take him to school. The nanny remained still, looked into her pocket and saw the 20 pesos she had just pulled out of the brat’s piggy bank and thought to herself “And this my dear, is for this morning’s drama”. She smirked satisfied.
SDIH (3/4/2008)
Because I cared.
I walked the narrow paths of grassy fields
And often times, I would stop to observe
The story would be born in the centre of my brain
And the grass would be trees, and the dirt roads.
I could seat for hours, creating imaginary landscapes
Miniature worlds in which towns, cities, villages
And lonely homes would live
I would stop, and observe, because I cared.
I would create characters, and stories to live in,
I would use my head, stones, flowers, grass and weeds
As this world had to be perfect, and it usually was
When a story was born, it was alive for months.
I walked the stoned roads of my street
They were oceans, and the blocks of houses, islands
My friends lived there, and sometimes they didn’t
I would stop, and get inspired, and suddenly, I cared.
Hours would fly by, one by one, as I would see
And play, and imagine, and create
An imaginary world that would exist and be alive
Just and simply because I cared.
And just like that, the world around me changed
I was the stone, or the grass, and I was being observed
I lived the fantasy so many times, that one day
and there was no more to care for, I had changed.
SDIH (2./27/2008)
And often times, I would stop to observe
The story would be born in the centre of my brain
And the grass would be trees, and the dirt roads.
I could seat for hours, creating imaginary landscapes
Miniature worlds in which towns, cities, villages
And lonely homes would live
I would stop, and observe, because I cared.
I would create characters, and stories to live in,
I would use my head, stones, flowers, grass and weeds
As this world had to be perfect, and it usually was
When a story was born, it was alive for months.
I walked the stoned roads of my street
They were oceans, and the blocks of houses, islands
My friends lived there, and sometimes they didn’t
I would stop, and get inspired, and suddenly, I cared.
Hours would fly by, one by one, as I would see
And play, and imagine, and create
An imaginary world that would exist and be alive
Just and simply because I cared.
And just like that, the world around me changed
I was the stone, or the grass, and I was being observed
I lived the fantasy so many times, that one day
and there was no more to care for, I had changed.
SDIH (2./27/2008)
The Figures in my mind
Lost, inside myself are the shapes of the past
Those that translate into memories, erased from the bottom of my soul.
Found, inside myself are the new rules of my heart
Those that are now shielded, smarter and ready to talk
Dead, inside myself is my wishful set of hopes
Those that once near killed me, that filled my innocence with holes
Alive, inside myself are my real expectations
Those that are made of adult desires, like morgages or affection.
past, inside myself is the time I spent
That that made me vulnerable, in which love tried to pretend.
Now, inside myself are my hungry ideas
Those that were asleep, waiting for winter to end.
Inside myself is me
the one who once dreamed, once feared, once cried, once hoped...
The who now acts, now demands, now escapes, now fights...
the one who will...
SDIH (2008)
Those that translate into memories, erased from the bottom of my soul.
Found, inside myself are the new rules of my heart
Those that are now shielded, smarter and ready to talk
Dead, inside myself is my wishful set of hopes
Those that once near killed me, that filled my innocence with holes
Alive, inside myself are my real expectations
Those that are made of adult desires, like morgages or affection.
past, inside myself is the time I spent
That that made me vulnerable, in which love tried to pretend.
Now, inside myself are my hungry ideas
Those that were asleep, waiting for winter to end.
Inside myself is me
the one who once dreamed, once feared, once cried, once hoped...
The who now acts, now demands, now escapes, now fights...
the one who will...
SDIH (2008)
Shy
Just like a song to inspiration, I find your eyes looking at me.
I wonder what you think, if we actually agree.
A game of deceived looks, and subtle smiles
I wonder if you know me already, if you want.
The fast beat of my heart gives me away
I know you know I see you, and you do as well.
I wonder if you know, what I can see
I wonder if we knew each other, from somewhere else.
Shy
SDIH (2008)
I wonder what you think, if we actually agree.
A game of deceived looks, and subtle smiles
I wonder if you know me already, if you want.
The fast beat of my heart gives me away
I know you know I see you, and you do as well.
I wonder if you know, what I can see
I wonder if we knew each other, from somewhere else.
Shy
SDIH (2008)
When you look up and down
When you look up and down, and come to the realization that life offers you several options, but circumstances shape and force you into just a few of them, it is not until then, that you are able to figure your destiny according to plan, or to make a plan at least.
Life can be described in many different ways. I think that the recipe has a few key ingredients, such as luck, desires, wishes, needs, and moreover, what some people call motivation, but I prefer to identify as determination.
Attitude is just the mask that we put to our actions, whether good or bad, they don’t always represent the reality of what attitude is supposed to portrait: Emotions.
Emotions on the other hand are the first thing we learn to shade and shield. Emotions make us vulnerable, weak, innocent, charming, angry, happy, loving, silly, senseless, idiots. Emotions make us young, and most of the times naïve.
The simplicity of the complexity of life is truly overwhelming. People write about the different aspects that shape the principles of living. They worship the failures; Love the vulnerabilities offered by our inexperience, that rich inexperience that in my perspective, makes us charming, desirable and willing.
Life can be described in many different ways; to me, it is a journey, where the point of living is about the little things that can secretly scratch a smile out of your system. The pleasures you enjoy from the inside, that piece of music, that group of words, the look of the eyes of people in pictures, the tiny senses that we choose to ignore.
The journey can be unacknowledged, leaving us living life like objects live in a house, mere spectators of the passing life, unable to interact, to tell a story, and more importantly, to create one. Anyone can create anecdotes, but just those lucky enough to discover the beauty of living in the simple things, can truly create the canvas for stories; with a beginning, a core, and an end.
These stories, sometimes are sad, sometimes are dull, a few times happy, and as we grow, they tend to be loaded with sarcasm, that just shields those emotions that we have chosen to keep far from everybody, including ourselves. Then it is when it hit us, we become perfect strangers to ourselves, writing stories that are dictated by our fears, rather than by out true emotions, with the fake kind inspiration.
When life gets too real, we stop learning to be inspired, and start learning to create expectations based on the superficial basis of necessity and ambition; ambition that you can purchase on sale on the nearest Costco.
Changing the rhythm, the sounds, the scripts, the stories, the emotions, the sarcasm, the journey, the life… making it simple, living the today, getting what we need, stopping for a second to breathe, to take a deep breath, and to observe. Looking around us and allowing each of the little sources of inspiration feed that forgotten vitality that we have the honor to own: our souls.
One word can change a poem, one idea can change a song, one motto can change a story, and a different perspective, can create a life instead of changing it.
This is the rhapsody of what I believe life is all about. Use it or throw it, but there is only one way to understand it; you have to share it.
Life is simple… as simple as an atom, and yet, so undecipherable and complex, just like the thoughts we have when our life demands an upgrade…. And that so many of us, choose to ignore.
Life can be described in many different ways. I think that the recipe has a few key ingredients, such as luck, desires, wishes, needs, and moreover, what some people call motivation, but I prefer to identify as determination.
Attitude is just the mask that we put to our actions, whether good or bad, they don’t always represent the reality of what attitude is supposed to portrait: Emotions.
Emotions on the other hand are the first thing we learn to shade and shield. Emotions make us vulnerable, weak, innocent, charming, angry, happy, loving, silly, senseless, idiots. Emotions make us young, and most of the times naïve.
The simplicity of the complexity of life is truly overwhelming. People write about the different aspects that shape the principles of living. They worship the failures; Love the vulnerabilities offered by our inexperience, that rich inexperience that in my perspective, makes us charming, desirable and willing.
Life can be described in many different ways; to me, it is a journey, where the point of living is about the little things that can secretly scratch a smile out of your system. The pleasures you enjoy from the inside, that piece of music, that group of words, the look of the eyes of people in pictures, the tiny senses that we choose to ignore.
The journey can be unacknowledged, leaving us living life like objects live in a house, mere spectators of the passing life, unable to interact, to tell a story, and more importantly, to create one. Anyone can create anecdotes, but just those lucky enough to discover the beauty of living in the simple things, can truly create the canvas for stories; with a beginning, a core, and an end.
These stories, sometimes are sad, sometimes are dull, a few times happy, and as we grow, they tend to be loaded with sarcasm, that just shields those emotions that we have chosen to keep far from everybody, including ourselves. Then it is when it hit us, we become perfect strangers to ourselves, writing stories that are dictated by our fears, rather than by out true emotions, with the fake kind inspiration.
When life gets too real, we stop learning to be inspired, and start learning to create expectations based on the superficial basis of necessity and ambition; ambition that you can purchase on sale on the nearest Costco.
Changing the rhythm, the sounds, the scripts, the stories, the emotions, the sarcasm, the journey, the life… making it simple, living the today, getting what we need, stopping for a second to breathe, to take a deep breath, and to observe. Looking around us and allowing each of the little sources of inspiration feed that forgotten vitality that we have the honor to own: our souls.
One word can change a poem, one idea can change a song, one motto can change a story, and a different perspective, can create a life instead of changing it.
This is the rhapsody of what I believe life is all about. Use it or throw it, but there is only one way to understand it; you have to share it.
Life is simple… as simple as an atom, and yet, so undecipherable and complex, just like the thoughts we have when our life demands an upgrade…. And that so many of us, choose to ignore.
Last Night
Last night, I stopped believing in simplicity. The whole concept of independence became a mere stranger and in serious risk of extinction. Let me explain:
I realized that no matter how small, isolated, or simple events seem to be, they are usually not. They have a reason, and many times, they just happen to be part of either a cycle or a chain of events that lead to something and nothing at the same time.
When you believe that the series of events have finally gotten you somewhere, you then open your eyes, and realize you have just climbed another step on the staircase rather than reaching the level, you just set foot on a whole new fly of steps.
What I figured, is that no matter how insignificant something seems to be, I firmly believe that life and the universe, are somehow interconnected and anything that happens has some sort of co-dependence with the set of rules and lines that shape one’s life.
I suddenly realized of how much we tend to miss because we are so used to not paying attention to the string of life, to those events that appear to be insignificant, but that are so pure and so crucial for the curse of our lives.
Then the mist of confusion appears, because we are so obsessed with the huge signs that we can’t see the set of events that are showing us the options that we have for a successful life.
Last night, I moved to a whole new year, and I realized that the one that just passed, will never come back; except for the eventual dreams, fears, traumas and thought that will cross my mind once in a while.
Today am an evolved version of myself. Today I have understood one simple rule… that turned out to be truly complicated. Today, I changed.
SDIH (2008)
I realized that no matter how small, isolated, or simple events seem to be, they are usually not. They have a reason, and many times, they just happen to be part of either a cycle or a chain of events that lead to something and nothing at the same time.
When you believe that the series of events have finally gotten you somewhere, you then open your eyes, and realize you have just climbed another step on the staircase rather than reaching the level, you just set foot on a whole new fly of steps.
What I figured, is that no matter how insignificant something seems to be, I firmly believe that life and the universe, are somehow interconnected and anything that happens has some sort of co-dependence with the set of rules and lines that shape one’s life.
I suddenly realized of how much we tend to miss because we are so used to not paying attention to the string of life, to those events that appear to be insignificant, but that are so pure and so crucial for the curse of our lives.
Then the mist of confusion appears, because we are so obsessed with the huge signs that we can’t see the set of events that are showing us the options that we have for a successful life.
Last night, I moved to a whole new year, and I realized that the one that just passed, will never come back; except for the eventual dreams, fears, traumas and thought that will cross my mind once in a while.
Today am an evolved version of myself. Today I have understood one simple rule… that turned out to be truly complicated. Today, I changed.
SDIH (2008)
Circle
I'm Standing here waiting
For the signs of the sublime
As the hints are now screams
That whisper right in my mind
Unable to understand,
Why is that step necessary
Hiding myself from the obvious
pretending I'm safe away from me
I have searched for my answer
that could never satisfy me
While I was unable to see
That I was lost right in my mind
I need to recover trust
The trust in power and sense
That I lost in the shock
Of trying to define and find myself
All I need to do is find myself within my mind
Define the senses and relations
Learn to search in deeper waters
and I will find my own direction
I'm walking here looking
For the signs of what I see
As the facts are now visions
That look clear now in my heart
Able to understand
What that step was necessary
Finding myself in the obvious
Knowing that I am safe with myself.
I have answered most my questions
That now make me feel quite right
and I am able to see,
That all I needed was my real mind.
For the end and the will be
There are songs yet left to write
Until then there's a devoir
That I am ready to realize.
SDIH (2007)
For the signs of the sublime
As the hints are now screams
That whisper right in my mind
Unable to understand,
Why is that step necessary
Hiding myself from the obvious
pretending I'm safe away from me
I have searched for my answer
that could never satisfy me
While I was unable to see
That I was lost right in my mind
I need to recover trust
The trust in power and sense
That I lost in the shock
Of trying to define and find myself
All I need to do is find myself within my mind
Define the senses and relations
Learn to search in deeper waters
and I will find my own direction
I'm walking here looking
For the signs of what I see
As the facts are now visions
That look clear now in my heart
Able to understand
What that step was necessary
Finding myself in the obvious
Knowing that I am safe with myself.
I have answered most my questions
That now make me feel quite right
and I am able to see,
That all I needed was my real mind.
For the end and the will be
There are songs yet left to write
Until then there's a devoir
That I am ready to realize.
SDIH (2007)
A small thought...
Just as the night turns into the dawn,
My heart shut its beat and held its time;
Just as leaves turn red and the grass burns out,
My spirit felt betrayed, almost dead, almost dry.
The cheerful smile that was forced on my face,
Reflected the criteria of my adopted faith;
Nothing made much sense, just like random sex;
I was loosing spirit, loosing heart, loosing faith;
Shadows took my reason over,
Reasons took my heart by chance,
My heart filled my mind with fear,
fear took away my innocent eyes.
Just like that who lost a loved one
Just like a tree that was cut down
Just like eyes who lost their innocence
Just like me, Just like you, we both died.
SDIH (2007)
My heart shut its beat and held its time;
Just as leaves turn red and the grass burns out,
My spirit felt betrayed, almost dead, almost dry.
The cheerful smile that was forced on my face,
Reflected the criteria of my adopted faith;
Nothing made much sense, just like random sex;
I was loosing spirit, loosing heart, loosing faith;
Shadows took my reason over,
Reasons took my heart by chance,
My heart filled my mind with fear,
fear took away my innocent eyes.
Just like that who lost a loved one
Just like a tree that was cut down
Just like eyes who lost their innocence
Just like me, Just like you, we both died.
SDIH (2007)
No Basta (translation)
It is not enough,
With the penetrating darkness in the soul,
That one that seems endless and painful
Of that kind of loneliness that can only be perceived
Where there is a sorrow inside your heart.
And with that nostalgia, I don’t see a future,
And my past is lost in a present
That doesn’t exists, that seems vague and transparent
And not being able to ease this pain, it dies.
I loose my essence little by little,
Just like trees loose their leaves in the winter
And that way, I feel the frozen Coldness of life,
Cruel and analyzed, that has in me, its plan made.
Not knowing how to fight, today I surrender
To the mystery without answer and without questions
That one that obeys through punches of sadness,
Punches of pain, and pure loneliness.
To Live hurts, heart-beats hurt, to breath today’s air… hurts
Since dreams just don’t happen anymore, they are a luxury
And without passion, life cuts you like knifes
That leave if wounded, crying, almost dead.
This way, I declare an obituary
To the deceased wishes, and to the long-gone innocence,
I dedicate my cry to hope
And to faith, I shall keep it half alive
What is left of me, is not enough.
With the penetrating darkness in the soul,
That one that seems endless and painful
Of that kind of loneliness that can only be perceived
Where there is a sorrow inside your heart.
And with that nostalgia, I don’t see a future,
And my past is lost in a present
That doesn’t exists, that seems vague and transparent
And not being able to ease this pain, it dies.
I loose my essence little by little,
Just like trees loose their leaves in the winter
And that way, I feel the frozen Coldness of life,
Cruel and analyzed, that has in me, its plan made.
Not knowing how to fight, today I surrender
To the mystery without answer and without questions
That one that obeys through punches of sadness,
Punches of pain, and pure loneliness.
To Live hurts, heart-beats hurt, to breath today’s air… hurts
Since dreams just don’t happen anymore, they are a luxury
And without passion, life cuts you like knifes
That leave if wounded, crying, almost dead.
This way, I declare an obituary
To the deceased wishes, and to the long-gone innocence,
I dedicate my cry to hope
And to faith, I shall keep it half alive
What is left of me, is not enough.
No Basta
Con la obscuridad desrragadora del alma,
Esa que parece interminable y dolorosa;
De esa soledad que solo se percibe
Cuando existe una pena dentro de tu corazon.
Asi con esa nostalgia, ya no veo un futuro,
Y mi pasado se pierde en un presente
Que no existe, que parece vago y transparente,
Y sin conseguir acallar este dolor, muere.
Pierdo mi escencia poco a poco,
Como los arboles pierden sus hojas en invierno.
Y así, siento el frío helar De la vida,
Calculador y cruel, que tiene en mí su plan marcado.
Sin saber como pelear, hoy me he rendido
Al misterio sin respuesta y sin preguntas;
El que me somete a golpes de tristeza,
Golpes de dolor y soledad pura.
Vivir duele, latir duele, respirar el aire del presente... duele;
Pues soñar ya no sucede, ahora es lujo,
Y sin pasion, la vida corta como navajas
Que La deja herida, sollozante, moribunda.
Asi pues, le declaro un obituario
A los deseos muertos, y a la inocencia ida;
Le dedico mi llanto a la esperanza,
Y a la fe, la mantengo medio viva.
Lo que queda de mi ya no me basta.
SDIH (2007)
Esa que parece interminable y dolorosa;
De esa soledad que solo se percibe
Cuando existe una pena dentro de tu corazon.
Asi con esa nostalgia, ya no veo un futuro,
Y mi pasado se pierde en un presente
Que no existe, que parece vago y transparente,
Y sin conseguir acallar este dolor, muere.
Pierdo mi escencia poco a poco,
Como los arboles pierden sus hojas en invierno.
Y así, siento el frío helar De la vida,
Calculador y cruel, que tiene en mí su plan marcado.
Sin saber como pelear, hoy me he rendido
Al misterio sin respuesta y sin preguntas;
El que me somete a golpes de tristeza,
Golpes de dolor y soledad pura.
Vivir duele, latir duele, respirar el aire del presente... duele;
Pues soñar ya no sucede, ahora es lujo,
Y sin pasion, la vida corta como navajas
Que La deja herida, sollozante, moribunda.
Asi pues, le declaro un obituario
A los deseos muertos, y a la inocencia ida;
Le dedico mi llanto a la esperanza,
Y a la fe, la mantengo medio viva.
Lo que queda de mi ya no me basta.
SDIH (2007)
Sleepy head
A gentle breze from a dusty fan
periodic sounds of a tic and a tac
My brain is numb, without a spark
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
Erratic data from blury thoughts
Dazed memories, confused grow
state of limbo, of tic and tac
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
Sublime mumbles of someone out
Buzz around, up and down
Nothing has a shape, everything is blind
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
But then the puzzle seems clear now
Its moment is gone, that state is past
Sleepy stops, awake arrives
and fully conscious my head turns mind
SDIH (2007)
periodic sounds of a tic and a tac
My brain is numb, without a spark
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
Erratic data from blury thoughts
Dazed memories, confused grow
state of limbo, of tic and tac
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
Sublime mumbles of someone out
Buzz around, up and down
Nothing has a shape, everything is blind
Sleepy head, sleepy mind
But then the puzzle seems clear now
Its moment is gone, that state is past
Sleepy stops, awake arrives
and fully conscious my head turns mind
SDIH (2007)
Freedom!
You have escaped out of my heart,
released, without the honor that I used to have
You proved me wrong, in every side
you are free to go, and to never come back
Your essence has gone, beyond my mind
Now there are only ashes, from a burned life
I emptied my feelings, I emptied my heart
and from you, there's nothing left, it is all past
I wished this never happened, but this is life
as unfair, as cruel, as wise and precise
You have finally departed, it's over now
and with you, you take my broken dreams, a debt to life
You continue your path, alone, in further dark
As for me, I found myself, again inside
I now can flight away, follow my path
my chance has just begun, my hope means life
You played your cards alone, and that's all right
I now belong to me, am free to fly
My memories erased, the sweet and kind
Now I can see quite clear, your cruel, cold heart
Am gone, away from you, and there is not turning back
I am able again, to own my heart
My wonds will heal someday, I will survive
and you, who never were, will never come back.
released, without the honor that I used to have
You proved me wrong, in every side
you are free to go, and to never come back
Your essence has gone, beyond my mind
Now there are only ashes, from a burned life
I emptied my feelings, I emptied my heart
and from you, there's nothing left, it is all past
I wished this never happened, but this is life
as unfair, as cruel, as wise and precise
You have finally departed, it's over now
and with you, you take my broken dreams, a debt to life
You continue your path, alone, in further dark
As for me, I found myself, again inside
I now can flight away, follow my path
my chance has just begun, my hope means life
You played your cards alone, and that's all right
I now belong to me, am free to fly
My memories erased, the sweet and kind
Now I can see quite clear, your cruel, cold heart
Am gone, away from you, and there is not turning back
I am able again, to own my heart
My wonds will heal someday, I will survive
and you, who never were, will never come back.
Tu Infierno
Tu imagen se acalla en el infierno de mi alma
Aquel que se creo, despues de tantos fallidos intentos
Mis ilusiones muertas construyeron su sepulcro
Negro, lleno de trampas, mentiras y miedos.
Fotografias que muestran solo el luto, tradicion macabra
Y de ahi, baso mis temores, sobre aquel juego que he trazado
Sabida ignorancia fruto de mis tonterias,
que se creía sabia, que se creía viva.
Descubierto eh ya, el plan fallido!
El de mi mente que así, sabotea mis sentidos
Tu imagen me da miedo, entre circulos me encierra
y en tu mirada vi mis espejismos, tras la verdad certera.
¿Quien eres tú, detras de mis ilusiones?
¿Serás real o tan solo otra de mis visiones?
Espero ya tu sentir con ansias locas,
Aquellas con las que sueño, y muchas veces me sofocan
Mi alma se siente debil, muerta de envidia
Pero aun así, mi infierno está abierto a otra herida.
Aquel que se creo, despues de tantos fallidos intentos
Mis ilusiones muertas construyeron su sepulcro
Negro, lleno de trampas, mentiras y miedos.
Fotografias que muestran solo el luto, tradicion macabra
Y de ahi, baso mis temores, sobre aquel juego que he trazado
Sabida ignorancia fruto de mis tonterias,
que se creía sabia, que se creía viva.
Descubierto eh ya, el plan fallido!
El de mi mente que así, sabotea mis sentidos
Tu imagen me da miedo, entre circulos me encierra
y en tu mirada vi mis espejismos, tras la verdad certera.
¿Quien eres tú, detras de mis ilusiones?
¿Serás real o tan solo otra de mis visiones?
Espero ya tu sentir con ansias locas,
Aquellas con las que sueño, y muchas veces me sofocan
Mi alma se siente debil, muerta de envidia
Pero aun así, mi infierno está abierto a otra herida.
I am addicted to you
I am addicted to you
To your sounds, to your smile
To your images that my head creates
To the fantasies, that I escape to
I am addicted to this dream
and to the ones that follow
The story of my happy end,
Of a would-be perfect world
I am addicted to the feeling
To the closer sense of empty
to the risk of low chances
to your charms
I am addicted to your storyt
he one that you never told me
I am getting to know you
without even knowing you
Release me from your imaginary trap,
that one that you never planned
but worked to perfection in my mind
in that would-be perfect world.
I am addicted to your sounds
your music
your smile
your made-by-me soul
SDIH (2006)
To your sounds, to your smile
To your images that my head creates
To the fantasies, that I escape to
I am addicted to this dream
and to the ones that follow
The story of my happy end,
Of a would-be perfect world
I am addicted to the feeling
To the closer sense of empty
to the risk of low chances
to your charms
I am addicted to your storyt
he one that you never told me
I am getting to know you
without even knowing you
Release me from your imaginary trap,
that one that you never planned
but worked to perfection in my mind
in that would-be perfect world.
I am addicted to your sounds
your music
your smile
your made-by-me soul
SDIH (2006)
Mañana fria de otoño
Mañana fria de otoño,
de aroma a dulce nostalgia
Tus hojas tiñen tus hilos
De colores de oro y plata
Mañana fresca de otoño
Que tejes dulces recuerdos
Calienta mi mejillas rojas
Despierta mis deseos muertos
Dulce Mañana Otoñal,
Con rústico sabor madera
Regalame un rayol de sol
Ilumina mis ideas.
Otoño de mil colores
De recuerdos olvidados
Estacion que va de paso
Al invierno frio y blanco.
SDIH (2006)
de aroma a dulce nostalgia
Tus hojas tiñen tus hilos
De colores de oro y plata
Mañana fresca de otoño
Que tejes dulces recuerdos
Calienta mi mejillas rojas
Despierta mis deseos muertos
Dulce Mañana Otoñal,
Con rústico sabor madera
Regalame un rayol de sol
Ilumina mis ideas.
Otoño de mil colores
De recuerdos olvidados
Estacion que va de paso
Al invierno frio y blanco.
SDIH (2006)
En la casona Vieja
En la casona vieja, llena de recuerdos
Con sus corredores amplios, con sus espejos
Se refleja mi alma, pues plasmo su escencia
Esos años que viví, mi infancia eterna
Risas de juegos llenos de franqueza
Que formaron mi carácter y mi escencia
Colores, muchos colores, tierna belleza
Con dulces sabores de azafran y fresa
Juegos de cantos alegres, con su simpleza
Llenaron cada rincon, de las gavetas
Con las risas forme, muchas memorias
Con las que tejí mi alma, llena de cosas.
En la casona vieja, llena de recuerdos
Se atesoraron mis vivencias, mis sentimientos
En sus corredores amplios, con sus espejos
Se refleja mi presente, mi niño eterno.
SIDH (2006)
Con sus corredores amplios, con sus espejos
Se refleja mi alma, pues plasmo su escencia
Esos años que viví, mi infancia eterna
Risas de juegos llenos de franqueza
Que formaron mi carácter y mi escencia
Colores, muchos colores, tierna belleza
Con dulces sabores de azafran y fresa
Juegos de cantos alegres, con su simpleza
Llenaron cada rincon, de las gavetas
Con las risas forme, muchas memorias
Con las que tejí mi alma, llena de cosas.
En la casona vieja, llena de recuerdos
Se atesoraron mis vivencias, mis sentimientos
En sus corredores amplios, con sus espejos
Se refleja mi presente, mi niño eterno.
SIDH (2006)
Hoy ya no estas
Hoy ya no estas, ni el recuerdo ya me queda
Mi corazón no palpita, pues ha perdido su escencia
En el oceano de mi vida, la soledad hoy reina
Ya que las olas borraron, todas tus huellas
Y así aprendí a sonreir, con vacios sentimientos
A pretender amor, para compensar mis miedos
En el vacío mi alma, esa que te llevaste lejos
Olvidaste en el contrato, devolver mis sentimientos
Ladron de ilusiones puras, robaste mi inocencia
Plantaste en mi corazon, todas tus huellas
Hoy ya no estas, me olvidaste en tu pasado
Dejaste mi herida abierta, no ataste cabos.
Enciendo una vela clara, al pie de mi vida
Por si un dia tu regresas, sea tu guia
El tiempo sigue pasando, y no te olvido
Aunque dentro de mi, nuestro amor ya esta marchito.
SDIH (2006)
Mi corazón no palpita, pues ha perdido su escencia
En el oceano de mi vida, la soledad hoy reina
Ya que las olas borraron, todas tus huellas
Y así aprendí a sonreir, con vacios sentimientos
A pretender amor, para compensar mis miedos
En el vacío mi alma, esa que te llevaste lejos
Olvidaste en el contrato, devolver mis sentimientos
Ladron de ilusiones puras, robaste mi inocencia
Plantaste en mi corazon, todas tus huellas
Hoy ya no estas, me olvidaste en tu pasado
Dejaste mi herida abierta, no ataste cabos.
Enciendo una vela clara, al pie de mi vida
Por si un dia tu regresas, sea tu guia
El tiempo sigue pasando, y no te olvido
Aunque dentro de mi, nuestro amor ya esta marchito.
SDIH (2006)
A poeam for Lebanon
When they first shot at you,
They targeted my soul.
When they first hurt you,
They opressed my heart.
Land of brave warriors
Land of ancient times
You hold half of my recipee
you are part of who I am
Why do you suffer in shadows
Why can't they leave you alone
You my half land, my sweet one
Land of the cedar, land of God
We shall stand proud above ashes
We shall discover beauty above the rocks
We stand together for thee
Lebanon, you and I, demand peace
Today my tears have a reason
In my heart lies your essence and your love
My half land, my half rythm, my half all
In your suffering I find you, and offer you love.
Lebanon, Land of the Ceasars
Land of History
Land of love
Lebanon
Today you suffer
Today you bleed
Today I mourn
They targeted my soul.
When they first hurt you,
They opressed my heart.
Land of brave warriors
Land of ancient times
You hold half of my recipee
you are part of who I am
Why do you suffer in shadows
Why can't they leave you alone
You my half land, my sweet one
Land of the cedar, land of God
We shall stand proud above ashes
We shall discover beauty above the rocks
We stand together for thee
Lebanon, you and I, demand peace
Today my tears have a reason
In my heart lies your essence and your love
My half land, my half rythm, my half all
In your suffering I find you, and offer you love.
Lebanon, Land of the Ceasars
Land of History
Land of love
Lebanon
Today you suffer
Today you bleed
Today I mourn
Infinite instants
For one moment, I dream,
I dare to dream that you are here.
For one instant, I feel
I dare to feel your touch,so close to me.
One fear covered in sugar clouds
life experiences that shielded my heart.
Secrets of my conscience never left
but I dared to dream, to feel, to let.
A word that makes my soul feel warm.
A dream that completes my missing path.
A desire, that for a change, doesnt burn.
A smile, that I feel mine, that is so close.
Descriptions that make sense just to us.
A complice in crime, in life, in goals.
Lonely mental break that completes its run.
tired, really hurt, but never willing to give up.
For one moment, I live
I feel your heart right inside me.
For one second, I hope
that when I say a good bye, there will be a return.
Random thoughts of desire and pleassure
Resolve my mind and releases my preassures
complex chain of daring sorrows
collapses in you, my kindest warrior
SDIH (2006)
I dare to dream that you are here.
For one instant, I feel
I dare to feel your touch,so close to me.
One fear covered in sugar clouds
life experiences that shielded my heart.
Secrets of my conscience never left
but I dared to dream, to feel, to let.
A word that makes my soul feel warm.
A dream that completes my missing path.
A desire, that for a change, doesnt burn.
A smile, that I feel mine, that is so close.
Descriptions that make sense just to us.
A complice in crime, in life, in goals.
Lonely mental break that completes its run.
tired, really hurt, but never willing to give up.
For one moment, I live
I feel your heart right inside me.
For one second, I hope
that when I say a good bye, there will be a return.
Random thoughts of desire and pleassure
Resolve my mind and releases my preassures
complex chain of daring sorrows
collapses in you, my kindest warrior
SDIH (2006)
Who am I
I am a little bit the reflection of where I come from; a culture, a bunch of free smiles, laughs, hugs, tons of kisses, people that looks at your eyes when they speak, people who dances and smiles just for the sick of it, we just don't seem to pay too much attention on how much we cry, smile, laugh or curse at all... and at some point... I am that.
I try to understand why I am unable to accept a different perspective.
The sound of my culture buffers every single place of my heart and mind, a different flavour, a more spiced way of living.
Different concepts then seem to have a very well defined shape, but they just don't seem to make any sense to me while the rest feel completely identified with them.
Space, perhaps the biggest treassure of some.. while for me it hasn't been locked since I don't know when... Feelings that are so hidden, that hurt, and that stress of always making sure you dont step over them .... that is the most frustrating part of all.
Life is all about how you decide to live it, some .. think it is better to watch every step they take.. and perhaps, those are the ones that always make it to be very old... I wouldn't mind that much loosing it all at once... I have gotten so much so far anyway.
SDIH (2006)
I try to understand why I am unable to accept a different perspective.
The sound of my culture buffers every single place of my heart and mind, a different flavour, a more spiced way of living.
Different concepts then seem to have a very well defined shape, but they just don't seem to make any sense to me while the rest feel completely identified with them.
Space, perhaps the biggest treassure of some.. while for me it hasn't been locked since I don't know when... Feelings that are so hidden, that hurt, and that stress of always making sure you dont step over them .... that is the most frustrating part of all.
Life is all about how you decide to live it, some .. think it is better to watch every step they take.. and perhaps, those are the ones that always make it to be very old... I wouldn't mind that much loosing it all at once... I have gotten so much so far anyway.
SDIH (2006)
For one moment, I dreamed...
I dreamed abstract had no shape,
or science had no logic
I dreamed memories were empty
and love was foolish
For one moment, I dreamed.
For one second, I escaped
For one instant, I could laugh
and forever I loved you
and forever you were mine.
for more than just a moment,
my heart needs peace
for less than just a moment,
my mind needs real
forever and for always,
life does go on
relative description, of a broken heart.
empty definition, of a senseless mind.
For one moment, I dreamed...
I dared to dream
For one second I thought,
I should get real
For one instant my life was far from here
Just like you, just like me.
SDIH (2006)
or science had no logic
I dreamed memories were empty
and love was foolish
For one moment, I dreamed.
For one second, I escaped
For one instant, I could laugh
and forever I loved you
and forever you were mine.
for more than just a moment,
my heart needs peace
for less than just a moment,
my mind needs real
forever and for always,
life does go on
relative description, of a broken heart.
empty definition, of a senseless mind.
For one moment, I dreamed...
I dared to dream
For one second I thought,
I should get real
For one instant my life was far from here
Just like you, just like me.
SDIH (2006)
Within
Right inside a crystal box
Where you can see clearly through its walls
Are trapped my fears, and the vision of my goal
The truth becomes an argument, and my thoughts transformed.
Right inside my heart
Where you can see clearly though its walls
Are trapped the scars, product of my past
The feeling becomes a threat, and my love shuts down.
Right inside myself
where you can see nothing at all
Is trapped my future in our past
The strange missunderstanding, of a broken life.
SDIH (2006)
Where you can see clearly through its walls
Are trapped my fears, and the vision of my goal
The truth becomes an argument, and my thoughts transformed.
Right inside my heart
Where you can see clearly though its walls
Are trapped the scars, product of my past
The feeling becomes a threat, and my love shuts down.
Right inside myself
where you can see nothing at all
Is trapped my future in our past
The strange missunderstanding, of a broken life.
SDIH (2006)
Life as it is
sometimes a story, can reflect the inside of one person. Not even the facts transform, but perhaps get enriched by the reflection of that person´s mind, their love and their abbility to imagine.
How many times have we told the right story, the real facts?, when would it be much better to have put our minds in that simple state, where things are just the way we want them to be like?
When did I loose the power of making my creativity lead my actions and perhaps create the stories... making them real... giving them power and life, and even some people may not think it is the right thing to do... Who are they to tell?
What is the difference between understanding life and living life?, that those who want to understand, most of the times get more lost and end up living up the facts...while those who dare to live... can see beyond, and can make a simple story.. the greatest adventure of their life.
There is no difference between saying what you want, or saying what it was, if at the end... you get through the right message and give life a chance to show how fantastic it really is.
SDIH (2005)
How many times have we told the right story, the real facts?, when would it be much better to have put our minds in that simple state, where things are just the way we want them to be like?
When did I loose the power of making my creativity lead my actions and perhaps create the stories... making them real... giving them power and life, and even some people may not think it is the right thing to do... Who are they to tell?
What is the difference between understanding life and living life?, that those who want to understand, most of the times get more lost and end up living up the facts...while those who dare to live... can see beyond, and can make a simple story.. the greatest adventure of their life.
There is no difference between saying what you want, or saying what it was, if at the end... you get through the right message and give life a chance to show how fantastic it really is.
SDIH (2005)
Inspiration
Silence, absence, dead
Obscure path to anywhere
Random, chaos, love
Fragile senses of a human soul
Whisper, shadow, breath
Signals of life in an empty space
Master, normal, fear
Symptoms of pain from a broken dream
Murmuring master ideas
Waking of a brilliant mind
Drinking essence from a Diva
Divine creation of art.
SDIH (2004)
Obscure path to anywhere
Random, chaos, love
Fragile senses of a human soul
Whisper, shadow, breath
Signals of life in an empty space
Master, normal, fear
Symptoms of pain from a broken dream
Murmuring master ideas
Waking of a brilliant mind
Drinking essence from a Diva
Divine creation of art.
SDIH (2004)
Art and life...
Deceived perspective from surreal dreams
Mindless thoughts of bizarre streams
Classic concepts in contemporary minds
Life in art, art in life…
Concentrating the ideas, hidden from the rules
Structuring the reason, away from the truth
Finding neutral answers from unasked questions
Building up the rules for inadequate creations
Arts in life, lives in Art…
Concepts that merge, Merging that blasts
Blasting that grows, Growing that lasts
Last of the knowledge, knowing your art.
Art needs life, to start, to expand
Life needs art, to taste, to rise
Living is the story, art the storyline
Art is the resulting of a divine life.
SDIH (2004)
Mindless thoughts of bizarre streams
Classic concepts in contemporary minds
Life in art, art in life…
Concentrating the ideas, hidden from the rules
Structuring the reason, away from the truth
Finding neutral answers from unasked questions
Building up the rules for inadequate creations
Arts in life, lives in Art…
Concepts that merge, Merging that blasts
Blasting that grows, Growing that lasts
Last of the knowledge, knowing your art.
Art needs life, to start, to expand
Life needs art, to taste, to rise
Living is the story, art the storyline
Art is the resulting of a divine life.
SDIH (2004)
Everytime I try
Daring to live endless fantasies
Swearing to life loyal faith
Trying to fulfill my dutties
as the master of my dreams
Giving a step through the fog
searching for a precious light
looking for uncovered answers
in the middle of my mind
As a codded foreign language
a direction with no end
Foolish silence of confusion
Lost train station in my brain
I want the liquor from your glory
I need the taste that brings your sense
I wish the tears from their lost story
I long the time that you were there.
SDIH (2003)
Swearing to life loyal faith
Trying to fulfill my dutties
as the master of my dreams
Giving a step through the fog
searching for a precious light
looking for uncovered answers
in the middle of my mind
As a codded foreign language
a direction with no end
Foolish silence of confusion
Lost train station in my brain
I want the liquor from your glory
I need the taste that brings your sense
I wish the tears from their lost story
I long the time that you were there.
SDIH (2003)
Places Objects and Songs
That last time I saw you, listening to this song, you killed my soul
You pulled the gun, and shot. I felt just like frozen water ran through my lungs
That last time I saw you, listening to this song,
You signed your debtClosed my contract and took that shit from life instead
listening to the sound of pain, from something so pure, makes me cry.
Feeling that immense sense of loneliness that you placed on my heart
Frozen, stoned, numb, nothing like before, it is dead now
listening to the sound of pain, from inside my head, my heart
Places that will punish my senses with eternal screams
Objects that will paralize my heart and make my soul freeze
Poems with words that instead of beauty will give me fear
and behind of that is you, and sadly enough, what was left of me
SDIH (2003)
You pulled the gun, and shot. I felt just like frozen water ran through my lungs
That last time I saw you, listening to this song,
You signed your debtClosed my contract and took that shit from life instead
listening to the sound of pain, from something so pure, makes me cry.
Feeling that immense sense of loneliness that you placed on my heart
Frozen, stoned, numb, nothing like before, it is dead now
listening to the sound of pain, from inside my head, my heart
Places that will punish my senses with eternal screams
Objects that will paralize my heart and make my soul freeze
Poems with words that instead of beauty will give me fear
and behind of that is you, and sadly enough, what was left of me
SDIH (2003)
What is home?
Daily Small Details
My memories flied away and freed the scary path of life.
Daily small details got the main scope of my mind.
Memories of a door, a lonely metal truck, the smell of soup.
Hands of protection, all came back, all was there, and that was home.
The limits expanded, my mind did too, steps of natural growth.
Home was there, still familiar, still small, but was not mine anymore.
Tears of nostalgia framed my face, knowing what I was giving up
The wings expanded, the flight started, a nomad journey, no looking back.
Breathing the air of freedom gave me power, but I was blind.
I could not see beyond; the need of belonging, the daily small details.
All seemed so insignificant, so vane, I was blind.
Then I could see life, so cruel, so cold, so hard.
Warm winds of daily small details buffered my dreams
Experience made me stronger, but I still was able to feel.
Empty spaces were not filled, some basis were not there.
I started getting used, my routine created life again.
Suddenly, I felt comfort, I felt peace.
Small daily details were there, a door, a book, a friend, a home.
What is home the question is,
I am sure it all depends, on the moment and the space.
SDIH (2003)
My memories flied away and freed the scary path of life.
Daily small details got the main scope of my mind.
Memories of a door, a lonely metal truck, the smell of soup.
Hands of protection, all came back, all was there, and that was home.
The limits expanded, my mind did too, steps of natural growth.
Home was there, still familiar, still small, but was not mine anymore.
Tears of nostalgia framed my face, knowing what I was giving up
The wings expanded, the flight started, a nomad journey, no looking back.
Breathing the air of freedom gave me power, but I was blind.
I could not see beyond; the need of belonging, the daily small details.
All seemed so insignificant, so vane, I was blind.
Then I could see life, so cruel, so cold, so hard.
Warm winds of daily small details buffered my dreams
Experience made me stronger, but I still was able to feel.
Empty spaces were not filled, some basis were not there.
I started getting used, my routine created life again.
Suddenly, I felt comfort, I felt peace.
Small daily details were there, a door, a book, a friend, a home.
What is home the question is,
I am sure it all depends, on the moment and the space.
SDIH (2003)
A cheesy song in Spanish (with translations)
Vivir es un Cuento
Vivir es un cuento, una historia, una leyenda, una parodia
(Life is a tale, a story, a legend, a parody)
Que nos coloca en el camino, sin preguntar.
(That places us on the way without asking before)
Saber vivir es diferente, es disfrutar siempre el presente.
(To know how to live is different, is about enjoying the present)
Es afrontar todos los retos, sin dudar.
(Is about facing all the challenges without hesitating)
Pero quién te enseñó a vivir, quien te dio el derecho a decir
(But tell me, who taught you about life, who gave you the right to decide)
Como es la vida, si realmente, no puedes creer en ti.
(How life is, if you can´t really trust yourself)
Y como puedo así confiar, que en esta vida hay un final,
(And how can I trust you that way, How can I beleive that in this life there is an end,)
Y un presente, si ni siquiera puedo ver mi realidad.
(and a present, if I cant even see my own true)
En que consiste esa teoría o ese mito que buscamos, que anhelamos.
(What is that theory or that myth about, that we search and desire)
Alguien explíqueme las reglas, los premios, risas y condenas
(Please someone explain to me the rules, the awards, smiles and punishments)
Que en este juego nos arriesgamos a ganar.
(That we take our chances to win in this game)
Será verdad, será que si existe la felicidad...
(Would it be true , that happiness really exists?)
Descubrí después las miradas, el poder mágico que emanan,
(After a while I discovered the magic power of a look)
Y la simpleza, con la que pueden actuar,
(And the simple way they work)
Y así siguieron las sonrisas, tu alma cálida y divina
(And that way smiles, your charming and warm soul followed them)
Detrás tu rostro y tu personalidad
(And after that, your face and your personality)
La vida me eseneñó a vivir, con golpes, risas y humildad
(Life taught me how to live, with punches, smiles and humanity)
Me dio lecciones que sin querer me hicieron reflexionar.
(It gave me lessons that made me think really hard)
Quien más me pudo así enseñar, si antes solo hubo soledad
(Who else could taught me that way, if there was only loneliness before)
Pero ahora aprendo de tu mano y el presente me da más.
(But now I learn hand by hand with you, and present offers me much more)
La sonrisa que hoy me enmarca es reflejo de mi alma.
(The smile that today frames my face, is a reflection of my soul)
Y de tu alma, y no lo cuentes, pero presiento, que esto es vida de verdad
(and from yours, And please don´t tell, but I feel that this is what´s life about)
De hoy en delante es un secreto que compartimos
( From now on this is a secret we will share)
Y que nos une, y te agradezco, no digo más...
(And that links us together, I won´t say more...)
Solo soy yo, no hay nada más
( It is only me, and nothing more)
Un ser humano en realidad
(I´m just a human, and that´s is all)
Eso es todo lo que yo tengo
(And that is all I have)
Y te lo ofrezco, sin dudar,
(And I offer to you with no doubt)
Ahora me tienes a mi,
(Well, now you´ve got me)
Tienes mi alma en tu interior
(You have my soul within yourself)
Ya no estas solo, pues compartimos
(You are not alone anymore, because we share)
Parte de mi corazón.
(Part of my heart)
SDIH (2003)
Vivir es un cuento, una historia, una leyenda, una parodia
(Life is a tale, a story, a legend, a parody)
Que nos coloca en el camino, sin preguntar.
(That places us on the way without asking before)
Saber vivir es diferente, es disfrutar siempre el presente.
(To know how to live is different, is about enjoying the present)
Es afrontar todos los retos, sin dudar.
(Is about facing all the challenges without hesitating)
Pero quién te enseñó a vivir, quien te dio el derecho a decir
(But tell me, who taught you about life, who gave you the right to decide)
Como es la vida, si realmente, no puedes creer en ti.
(How life is, if you can´t really trust yourself)
Y como puedo así confiar, que en esta vida hay un final,
(And how can I trust you that way, How can I beleive that in this life there is an end,)
Y un presente, si ni siquiera puedo ver mi realidad.
(and a present, if I cant even see my own true)
En que consiste esa teoría o ese mito que buscamos, que anhelamos.
(What is that theory or that myth about, that we search and desire)
Alguien explíqueme las reglas, los premios, risas y condenas
(Please someone explain to me the rules, the awards, smiles and punishments)
Que en este juego nos arriesgamos a ganar.
(That we take our chances to win in this game)
Será verdad, será que si existe la felicidad...
(Would it be true , that happiness really exists?)
Descubrí después las miradas, el poder mágico que emanan,
(After a while I discovered the magic power of a look)
Y la simpleza, con la que pueden actuar,
(And the simple way they work)
Y así siguieron las sonrisas, tu alma cálida y divina
(And that way smiles, your charming and warm soul followed them)
Detrás tu rostro y tu personalidad
(And after that, your face and your personality)
La vida me eseneñó a vivir, con golpes, risas y humildad
(Life taught me how to live, with punches, smiles and humanity)
Me dio lecciones que sin querer me hicieron reflexionar.
(It gave me lessons that made me think really hard)
Quien más me pudo así enseñar, si antes solo hubo soledad
(Who else could taught me that way, if there was only loneliness before)
Pero ahora aprendo de tu mano y el presente me da más.
(But now I learn hand by hand with you, and present offers me much more)
La sonrisa que hoy me enmarca es reflejo de mi alma.
(The smile that today frames my face, is a reflection of my soul)
Y de tu alma, y no lo cuentes, pero presiento, que esto es vida de verdad
(and from yours, And please don´t tell, but I feel that this is what´s life about)
De hoy en delante es un secreto que compartimos
( From now on this is a secret we will share)
Y que nos une, y te agradezco, no digo más...
(And that links us together, I won´t say more...)
Solo soy yo, no hay nada más
( It is only me, and nothing more)
Un ser humano en realidad
(I´m just a human, and that´s is all)
Eso es todo lo que yo tengo
(And that is all I have)
Y te lo ofrezco, sin dudar,
(And I offer to you with no doubt)
Ahora me tienes a mi,
(Well, now you´ve got me)
Tienes mi alma en tu interior
(You have my soul within yourself)
Ya no estas solo, pues compartimos
(You are not alone anymore, because we share)
Parte de mi corazón.
(Part of my heart)
SDIH (2003)
This I wrote for my "new" friend Tijana back in 2003
Well, Ti, This may not be a pearl’s necklace or a diamond ring… but so far this is the best I can offer.
You were definitely the Best surprise of my year and I thank life a thousand times because that happened.
Somehow, I feel a very special connection with you and that makes me feel extremely lucky and happy. And to show you my appreciations, I wanted to include you in this project, I hope you find it interesting and relaxing, and also, this is to thank you for all the amazing talks, advices, and Kodak moments we shared. Thanks for this awesome year, Thanks for being there.
(2003)
You were definitely the Best surprise of my year and I thank life a thousand times because that happened.
Somehow, I feel a very special connection with you and that makes me feel extremely lucky and happy. And to show you my appreciations, I wanted to include you in this project, I hope you find it interesting and relaxing, and also, this is to thank you for all the amazing talks, advices, and Kodak moments we shared. Thanks for this awesome year, Thanks for being there.
(2003)
For Federica
This is something I wrote to my friend Federicaback in 2003.
“I feel like I have known you forever” That is a phrase from the first song of my CD and every time I hear it I can’t help thinking of you.
Distance was never so short until I met you. Thousand of miles separate us physically, but I feel like if we haven’t been apart at all. Federica, you are a real treasure, I DO believe that somehow life had this planned for me, and I couldn’t feel more thankful about it.
I want to tell you that you are always in my heart and my thoughts, that I want you to be there forever, because I will be there for you as well.
I want to thank you for the most wonderful moments, for your words, for your wishes, for every single thought you spent on me, and moreover for your friendship, because all what I have, is all who I am, and I know that now, part of my heart belongs to you. Without you, I just wouldn’t be the same me. Thank you
(2003)
“I feel like I have known you forever” That is a phrase from the first song of my CD and every time I hear it I can’t help thinking of you.
Distance was never so short until I met you. Thousand of miles separate us physically, but I feel like if we haven’t been apart at all. Federica, you are a real treasure, I DO believe that somehow life had this planned for me, and I couldn’t feel more thankful about it.
I want to tell you that you are always in my heart and my thoughts, that I want you to be there forever, because I will be there for you as well.
I want to thank you for the most wonderful moments, for your words, for your wishes, for every single thought you spent on me, and moreover for your friendship, because all what I have, is all who I am, and I know that now, part of my heart belongs to you. Without you, I just wouldn’t be the same me. Thank you
(2003)
My final words to a story...
It is so hard even to think about these words. As always, I just want them to be perfect…
but thinking about it, why would I want perfection, when that just wouldn’t be me?. This is music that I think defines me and reflects the way I feel.
I decided to include you in this small project, because this year just wouldn’t have been the same without you there.
This is me, there is not much in there, but that is all I am so far. I want to thank you because you taught me some of the most incredible lessons in my life, and well, maybe I should apologize for choosing you as my teacher…But I don’t regret any single thing.
For someone back in 2003.
but thinking about it, why would I want perfection, when that just wouldn’t be me?. This is music that I think defines me and reflects the way I feel.
I decided to include you in this small project, because this year just wouldn’t have been the same without you there.
This is me, there is not much in there, but that is all I am so far. I want to thank you because you taught me some of the most incredible lessons in my life, and well, maybe I should apologize for choosing you as my teacher…But I don’t regret any single thing.
For someone back in 2003.
Me & Myslef
This is the first poem I wrote.
The facts in my head, the specifics of my mind
The strength in my heart, the sublime in what I feel
Trying to mix water and oil will never turn right
Trying to match my heart and mind seems no easier task.
Enjoy the strength of a note, appreciate the power of a word
Analyzing beauty in numbers, designing perfection and art.
Discovering magic in someone else's mind
When I was taught cold efficiency, always precise.
How can I mix oil and water, How can I match mind and heart
Rules that always have a logic, notes of passion and desire
Seems so far one of each other, being so close, just inside
Me says think, myself needs art, both create, neither mind.
Crazy mind needs definition, tired heart just needs some peace
Mind and heart both need some freedom, me and myself is all I need.
There is a logical conclusion, but i guess there is something more
Definition I am looking, and freedom is what I found.
Overcoming many battles, gave me strength but never peace
Following rules and instructions, undefined the way I feel.
It is me, it's just myself, nothing more and nothing else
I am starting to believe, at the end It's just the same.
SDIH (2002)
The facts in my head, the specifics of my mind
The strength in my heart, the sublime in what I feel
Trying to mix water and oil will never turn right
Trying to match my heart and mind seems no easier task.
Enjoy the strength of a note, appreciate the power of a word
Analyzing beauty in numbers, designing perfection and art.
Discovering magic in someone else's mind
When I was taught cold efficiency, always precise.
How can I mix oil and water, How can I match mind and heart
Rules that always have a logic, notes of passion and desire
Seems so far one of each other, being so close, just inside
Me says think, myself needs art, both create, neither mind.
Crazy mind needs definition, tired heart just needs some peace
Mind and heart both need some freedom, me and myself is all I need.
There is a logical conclusion, but i guess there is something more
Definition I am looking, and freedom is what I found.
Overcoming many battles, gave me strength but never peace
Following rules and instructions, undefined the way I feel.
It is me, it's just myself, nothing more and nothing else
I am starting to believe, at the end It's just the same.
SDIH (2002)
I Dare you.
What a daring thought!
Who would even dare to suggest
That the mind can be as mild as the North Atlantic Ocean
What a ridiculous idea!
Who would waste their time
Filling their head with thoughts of magic dust
What a pleasant dream…
That there can be a switch
To find peace in the section of the mind that meets the heart
A vain description excusing the foolish pain
Of the real side of love and all those stuff
A complete nonsense made into a law
Who dares to search for an eternal shine?
Poor foolish handicapped.
Spotless, as death.
Utopia!, a real LIE!
Nor the one exists, nor the other
Nor I want to live if living is like that
Give me your dreams, to create the memories
Give me your fears, to create the shadows
Give me your love, to create the spots.
BUT GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Just give me something…
Just dare to see…
Try to see if I can breath your air
Try to see if I can cry your tears
Try to see if I can be the eternal sunshine of your ready-to-explode mind.
I dare you…
SDIH (2004)
Who would even dare to suggest
That the mind can be as mild as the North Atlantic Ocean
What a ridiculous idea!
Who would waste their time
Filling their head with thoughts of magic dust
What a pleasant dream…
That there can be a switch
To find peace in the section of the mind that meets the heart
A vain description excusing the foolish pain
Of the real side of love and all those stuff
A complete nonsense made into a law
Who dares to search for an eternal shine?
Poor foolish handicapped.
Spotless, as death.
Utopia!, a real LIE!
Nor the one exists, nor the other
Nor I want to live if living is like that
Give me your dreams, to create the memories
Give me your fears, to create the shadows
Give me your love, to create the spots.
BUT GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Just give me something…
Just dare to see…
Try to see if I can breath your air
Try to see if I can cry your tears
Try to see if I can be the eternal sunshine of your ready-to-explode mind.
I dare you…
SDIH (2004)
Entre la sopa y el platillo principal
Las miradas se cruzaron en esa cena formal
con pensamientos obscuros, sin poder disimular.
La tensión entre la sopa y el platillo principal,
sentimientos que sofocan nuestras mentes sin parar.
Con festejos de alegría, y fingida gratitud
en la mesa están reunidas, pretensiones sin rectitud.
Disimulando sentimientos, cegando la realidad
La mesa sirve platillos de amarga sinceridad.
Conversaciones vacías solo pueden soportar
La realidad camuflada en preguntas sin contestar
Cada quien vive su historia, y no la sabe contar
Pues tolerancia no existe, en la cena familiar.
Desengaños escondidos.
Mentiras sin anunciar.
Postre de azúcar amargo.
Y un café para el final.
La cena llegó a su fin, el vapor se consumió.
Besos que saben a sal, sin verdadera razón.
Un gran éxito proclaman, quienes fueron al manjar
Y regresan a sus vidas... su secreta realidad.
con pensamientos obscuros, sin poder disimular.
La tensión entre la sopa y el platillo principal,
sentimientos que sofocan nuestras mentes sin parar.
Con festejos de alegría, y fingida gratitud
en la mesa están reunidas, pretensiones sin rectitud.
Disimulando sentimientos, cegando la realidad
La mesa sirve platillos de amarga sinceridad.
Conversaciones vacías solo pueden soportar
La realidad camuflada en preguntas sin contestar
Cada quien vive su historia, y no la sabe contar
Pues tolerancia no existe, en la cena familiar.
Desengaños escondidos.
Mentiras sin anunciar.
Postre de azúcar amargo.
Y un café para el final.
La cena llegó a su fin, el vapor se consumió.
Besos que saben a sal, sin verdadera razón.
Un gran éxito proclaman, quienes fueron al manjar
Y regresan a sus vidas... su secreta realidad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)